I started a relationship with a guy about 6 months ago, casually at first but we certainly developed deep feelings for each other and said that we are in love with eachother.. Just before Christmas he had a stroke and I was at his bedside throughout, even though friends told me this was the perfect opportunity to walk away and they advised me to because of his situation. I stayed because I wanted to. He is a man who has been unemployed for a couple of years and was sinking into a depression due to his lack of employment and dire finances anyway. With the damage from the stroke (left side paralysis, but gradually getting better) he is in an even less likely position to find work. He literally has no money. I do have money, but he doesn't want to accept anything from me. He is in a very real situation of not being able to afford rent in the next few weeks and there is every chance he will be made homeless. In that case he would have no option but to return to his family (as a charity case) for shelter. This is an intelligent man who has never considered the future, having had a series of well paid jobs, but spending all his reserves during his bouts of unemployment.
The other issue is that relationship wise he is so unstable. Or at least has been until we met. Very much at a downturn in his life - which of course got even worse with his health problems. He called himself a retired player, has spent the vast amount of his time and money in various strip clubs (the only way to actually have drinks with beautiful women he said) but, and in a way I believe him, that was all it was. We started having sex about 3 weeks after meeting. We have been together every night since then and the sex has been very lovely for both of us - he says best ever for him -even since the stroke. Very prudish (he calls it gentlemanly) about anything like a sext. Won't do it, so some of me really believes the strip clubs were 'company' for him as he's never had a long term relationship. More red flags: right now I am on an extended business trip and our texts to eachother have dried up somewhat. We tend not to talk on the phone. I have just noticed many flirtatious comments on facebook between him and a woman he has recently met through a friend. He doesn't know I know about these, and I am not sure whether to make anything of it anyway. But since he is housebound, and she lives many miles away, I doubt anything is happening in real life.
So there are many reasons to walk away now, before I am even more drawn to him. This is a just a silly ramble really, but the truth is that I am in love with him, even though it makes no sense at all, and feel that I should offer my home and money to him till he recovers a little more and can get back on his own feet. However, if he is really still playing the field, even if it is just by Facebook or texting, I don't want to be taken advantage of.
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Relationships
A silly, rambling dilemma
gabrielleblue · 09/02/2014 17:22
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