Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dp has upset me....

(54 Posts)
Only1scoop Thu 06-Feb-14 16:46:34

Recently my birthday and I was upset to see dp scurrying out of the house to get a last minute card and gift on the morning.
Meanwhile our dd 3.5 was opening my cards with me and said "mummy I havn't got a card for you" and was a bit upset. So we sat and made one together. Dp comes back like bedraggled rat from the rain. Takes dd upstairs proceeds to wrap gift and write cards.
We have had a tough end of year and l expected a little more thought....I'd have loved him to take dd to buy or make a little gift and card....not rush around on the day.
Last year on my 40th he did the same....naff bad taste card.
He does work away quite a bit, but certainly has time to organise. This is someone who use to spend hours choosing cards/gifts.
He did book last minute theatre tickets but I just didn't want to go....it really upset me.
Yes he is great in so many ways....childcare, housework etc. He has apologised....but he did the same last year, so it just doesn't wash with me.
I know I'm being overly sensitive aren't I?

BlodynRose Fri 07-Feb-14 19:12:02

I think it's important to make a fuss of people on their birthdays if they like that. I do and my DH goes to town. Banner, cake, lots of presents and out to dinner. He on the other hand hates hid birthday and wants nothing special at all.

Deathwatchbeetle Fri 07-Feb-14 19:37:10

I liked Sweetie's revenge!

These posts remind me of an advert (not sure what for - possibly cards). The woman takes hours looking for a suitable valentine's card in a shop for her partner. He dashes into the local garage shop , shrugs "this'll do" at the nearest card and of course she is thrilled that he remembered.

Wordsaremything Fri 07-Feb-14 19:50:44

How were birthdays celebrated when you were a child, op? And in your husband's family? Were you fussed over or ignored? Were you involved in the present-choosing/making for your parents as this seems very important to you?

For example I was taught never to expect anything and to do so was wrong. To this day I find giving and receiving presents exceptionally hard. Especially if I have to open them in front of others.

For you, gift giving has a very different significance, which is why I'm asking.

Only1scoop Fri 07-Feb-14 21:00:59

Thanks for all your replies much appreciated....
Not really that fussed re gifts etc ....more the lack of interest in involving dd.
No big deals of birthdays ever made growing up. Dp used to pull out all the stops ....we have been together almost 7 years so it doesn't seem like that long ago.
He came home tonight and we had a good chat about both making more efforts and he apologised again for his lack of thought regarding my birthdays....
He is a really kind, good man and an amazing daddy. I know I am so lucky in many ways.

Thanks again everyone

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now