Ok, so I should start by saying that I'm in my first lesbian relationship and have been for the past year and a half. I'm only saying in case people get me confused for a guy, when I say my gf.
I won't go into the back story, as I don't really think it's important, but anyway, here go's
Firstly, I love my gf very much. I am still in love with her. I think she's beautiful, incredibly intelligent, funny, caring, kind, the list goes on and on really. Recently though, we've begun to argue more and more and it's really starting to concern me.
I don't really know what's changed. I don't really feel like either one of us have changed, but little, usually insignificant things, seem to turn in to an argument and then they seem significant iyswim.
I'm really hoping this is just a phase, as I always felt/feel like we have something very special.
Her reactions can be very odd and the longer we're together, the more irritating I find them. Sometimes I'll ask who's text her, in a completely innocent way, as in, I'm not suggesting she's having an affair or anything, and she'll just go bright red and have a go at me and ask why I'm asking and she's even been teary eyed before. Now, to me, this is a complete over reaction and if anything, it makes me suspicious, where as I wouldn't have been before. Yes, I'm not a naturally trusting person and I do struggle sometimes with that, but I don't accuse her of anything. It's actually a part of me that she doesn't really see, because I try so hard to bury it. Other little things like, I can ask if she likes a certain female actress for example, but she takes that to mean do you fancy her and she'll get emotional and go really strange. I will question her and she'll say that she doesn't know why she reacts like it, but she knows what I'm thinking, which is so unfair. She doesn't. Of course I'm jealous of really beautiful girls, who isn't? But she has this really weird idea of me, simply because I told her that I had trust issues and I'm quite self critical. It's getting to the point where we can't just have a normal conversation, in case she manages to twist something round to mean I'm accusing her of something. It's becoming exhausting Unfortunately, all these increasingly weird OTT reactions recently, have started to make me worry if maybe there is something else going on which she isn't telling me. Overall, I do trust her, so I don't really know what I'm saying, or thinking. I'm just so confused. I don't want to lose her, but today I just had to get some space to clear my head. I would never normally walk out, but I'd just had enough and I didn't want another pointless argument.
I don't really know what I'm asking, but I feel like I'm going mad. I've never felt this way about anyone before, but the arguments are really starting to get me down.
I think we both feel like we're treading on egg shells if I'm being honest.
Feel so sad and I know things can't carry on like this. It's so unhealthy.
Any advice?
Thanks
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Relationships
What do I do? Still in love, but arguments are getting out of control
confusedsadandnamechanged · 29/01/2014 16:35
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