I had an argument with my 'best friend' of 25 years, just over 12 months ago. I say best friend but we'd drifted, we still saw each other just as much but for around 3 years I got the impression that she liked understood me less and less. There are so many details I could give to explain why, but you'd get bored
Anyway this person, I'll call her Lou, has a terrible temper. She knows it, worries about it etc. We were like family, but not always in a good way, like in the sense that one way or another, family will always look to forgive and take you back, whatever you do. She spoke to me like shit whenever she was tired, angry, lonely. People, me included would just say "oh but you know Lou, she has a temper" and let her get away with it. She wasn't very loyal either, leaving my wedding early to get laid (despite the fact that she was meant to take my dd home with her after the party and instead I spent the last hour of my reception trying to arrange childcare). But there were good times and I loved her like a sister.
The argument. I'd found out my gran had cancer that day and she snapped at me for calling her when she was having a conversation and interrupting her . I was already emotional and it was the straw that broke the camel's back and I flipped. I told her not to speak to me until she was prepared to speak to me like a human being. That was November. The week before Christmas was spent with me receiving abusive texts from her and her sister and then a call from her mum all saying how UR I was. Actually I was called a cruel manipulative bitch for 'breaking her heart'. The sis hoped that my dd might be taken away so that she didn't turn out like me. Merry Christmas eh? It only ended when I puled out the big guns and said I'd call the police if it continued.
A year has gone by and basically our mutual friends, a very tight knit group are gone from my life and Lou has pretty much become bosom buddies with anyone who has ever fallen out with me...ever. I've just been politely (and it really was, I felt sorry for her) uninvited to a baby shower because Lou says she wont attend if I do. I said I wouldn't go because I'd be leaving earlier than most and I'm sick of being the bad guy.
Nobody seems to care enough about me as a friend or want my company as an individual to risk her wrath and see me.
While I know it says more about them than me, I can't help feeling like if everyone thinks I'm a dick then I must be? DD misses all these adults who have been in her life since she was a baby (now 11) and asks why she doesn't hear from Lou (her godmother) even on birthdays and Christmas.
I feel horrid, like mould.
I don't know what advice anyone can give, I know that I would advise someone in my position, that time will heal the pain and that she should find new, better people and I have. I have some wonderful newer friends who are positive, like minded people, but its not the same. Theres no history with these new friends. I miss the history more than the person/people I think.
I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar? Does this 'happen often' or am I really just a completely bitch that nobody wants anymore?
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Relationships
Am I as unwanted as I feel?
Thatisall · 20/01/2014 22:33
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