Tried to name change, couldn't remember my bloody password. Sorry this is long.
Ex ended things with me 8 months ago after almost 20 years together and three kids. We'd been having issues for months, with him being a dick over his phone (he was texting another woman, he's finally admitted it) and me searching for evidence of him cheating, confronting him and him essentially making me think I was going mad.
He finished things by telling me he didn't love me anymore. I did post at the time and got lots of great advice. Since then I've taken the kids and moved near to my parents. I won't lie and say it's great because it isn't. I'm just getting through each day on autopilot. I hate being a single parent, have struggled with parenting in general since having DD 12 years ago, and feel that I'm just muddling through.
Ex was here for the weekend to see the kids and as he was leaving yesterday asked for a a word. He told me he's kind of seeing someone. Has seen her a couple of times in the last two months. I asked questions and it's the suspected OW from before we split.
I'm devastated all over again. I'm back to square one, where I was 8 months ago. I can't let go and have stupidly been holding out hope that he was going to change his mind and want me again. I haven't eaten since yesterday lunchtime, have no appetite at all, barely slept at all last night and have had a couple of panic attacks today, struggling to breathe.
I feel like I want things to end. I contemplated getting on a train today and never coming back. That or something more drastic. I just feel completely shit and hollow inside.
I know I'm rambling - just looking for some words of advice to help me keep it together - again.
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Relationships
Having panic attacks over ex's 'new' GF.
Whiskwarrior · 20/01/2014 19:15
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