I'm totally fed up with my relationship. My partner never wants to do anything with me, would rather spend hours playing battlefield whilst I sit in the living room alone then spend any time with me. I feel like he's just using me to help him pay the mortgage and as someone to travel with. Whenever I bring up marriage he shuts down, says his last one was traumatic and he can't think about that for years (I do however have suspicions that this is simply him financially protecting himself) and despite how many times I've asked him to name me on the mortgage and him saying he will sort it out he still hasn't after a year of living here and me paying half of it saying its "awkward" and would cost us money we could spend on other things.
He went away with work Monday morning to return this evening. Sunday night we'd arranged to watch a movie together - it got to 9pm and he finally drags himself off battlefield and says we might not have time for the movie now as he still hasn't sorted anything out for his trip. He'd had ALL DAY (I was at work all day and kids at their dads, he had the house to himself!). Like I say he'd rather play on battlefield. He begrudgingly comes to watch the movie half hour later and it turned out to have tons of marriage references in it. It just upsets me, he won't even talk about it. So anyway he says he'll call me from his hotel room last night. It got to 11.30pm so I sent him a text saying "take it I'm not getting this phone all then? Goodnight anyway" no reply but I could see he'd read it. I couldn't sleep and it is out of character for him to ignore a text so I called him, no reply. I sent another text saying "are you ignoring me or what? At least let me know you're ok" (as I said, out of character) and still no reply.
Am I just a mug or what? To add insult to injury I stumbled across a load of pics and videos of his ex wife on the computer last night, even a video of her walking around topless. I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse.
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Relationships
Is he out of order or am I too clingy?
Gladys71 · 14/01/2014 10:19
A good relationship isn't characterised by ultimatums and arm-twisting tactics. 'Ask me to marry you or else... ' Just how secure would you feel after that kind of start? 
All you get from being on the mortgage btw is a lingering liability for the outstanding debt long after you've moved out. I could be wrong but I don't think it confers ownership
You want to be on the mortgage and tied to him!? 
Seriously?!
I've been through break ups - I know how bad they can be and how much you don't want to accept that its over. But you know this behaviour isn;t going to change if you are on teh mortgage and/or married to him, don;t you? Surely you do really.
If he caves under pressure, in 5 years years time you'll be back on here saying "I have two small children and my DH couldn't be less interested in me, I don't think he loves me at all and I doubt her ever did"
In your position I would be saying to him "I'm sorry this relationship isn't working for me any more I'm going to leave and rent on my own". And start again with a new partner who actually like you and want to be with you.
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