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Sexting/Phone Sex Etiquette

(80 Posts)
DizzyGoat Mon 13-Jan-14 13:51:50

Have NC! (Naice Ham, Poo Troll, entitled to goats)

For the last 3 months I've had a very slowly developing relationship with a guy who has decided he needs to work on his priorities, work/life balance etc. He's been in this country (previously in the US) for 3 years and not had a girlfriend. But he's chosen me as being top of the list if he ever gets the time. (For short I'd call that commitment phobic but there we go).

Anyway, we've held hands once, snogged twice and one day (TMI) he got over excited and <splat> - did make sure I enjoyed myself first though!

In the last couple of weeks we've "sexted" twice (NO PICTURES!!!) and last night had phone sex for the first time in my life. Damn fine, can recommend it grin

But in neither format have we ever described going all the way, just the kind of thing we've done so far (and I did introduce some lace and massage oil last night!)

So, when we do it again (pretty sure a precedent has been set now) should I take the conversation in the direction of full sex or not? Perhaps he doesn't want to go that far IRL because he can't commit so would it be appropriate to describe such things if they won't happen. Or would he be completely overjoyed and rush round to my house immediately? Or could I scare him off?

He contacts you when he wants an empty. End of story.

Next!

HeresTrouble Thu 13-Mar-14 17:51:07

Jeez, glad I'm not married to some of you old fuddy duddies!

OP, take it as far as you feel comfortable, it's only a bit of sexy fun!

I often sext my wife, she occasionally has phone sex with her lover and they exchange sexy messages too.
It get us in the mood for naughty fun, it's a bit like foreplay before the foreplay.

Go for it!

Mandy2003 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:30:09

That's it see, I have been perfectly happy doing just that but now I think I've caused a problem by reacting in the way I did to that comment.

I do know that this is not a rewarding relationship with a worthwhile person but it was giving me a bit of diversion in an otherwise boring life.

Thinking back the entire conversation today was leading onto dodgy ground. I just want to regain an even keel and hope he forgets today even happened. It wouldn't have if he hadn't stepped things up with the content of his txts this week. Then I would not have pushed for a meeting tonight.

I still don't know why he remains deluded thinking he will get a "proper" girlfriend. He ain't nice enough for that. Still, we don't know what mommy dearest has lined up when he goes to visit later this year.

TheCraicDealer Thu 13-Mar-14 18:47:50

He sounds like a cock and you're not even shagging him. Why are you hanging around?! There is literally nothing in this for you right now, apart from a large phone bill and a sticky hand.

Oh, and I can tell you from experience that thinking "He'll be on his own forever, he's a woman-hating cunt and couldn't stick a relationship" simply isn't true. He'll meet someone convenient, meek, mild and who'll give him a few sprogs on demand when it suits his timetable. And she'll be alright with that because she'll be mad about him, like you are.

If this is your way of dipping your toe into the dating scene, it's not going to end well. You need to tell him to fuck off back to America, get on a dating site and go on LOADS of dates to remind yourself that this tosser is not your only option. Like immersion therapy.

Mandy2003 Thu 13-Mar-14 19:05:14

Wish there was a like button craic. I do agree with what you say.

I looked at a dating site recently (Match) and found it unbelievably fake sad I couldn't justify the cost but did wink at a bodybuilding Brazilian biker - got a reply full of slush and mush.

Also, due to my disabilities and CFS I don't seem to have the energy to "put myself on the dating market".

I liked what I had, just had my head turned with the promise of a shag sad

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