Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

The Fascinating Girl by Helen Andelin

(56 Posts)
muchtooshy Sat 04-Jan-14 18:43:47

One of my friends who knows that I am single and pretty bad with men said she would bring me the book she read before she met her husband.

It is The Fascinating Girl and she said it was wonderful and life changing and that she now has the married version.

I have flicked through it and some of it does appeal to me as it is quite old fashioned but I don't know if men are looking for the same things nowadays. Lots of stuff on femininity and a worthy character and radiant happiness. The first part is mostly about understanding men, the second is about qualities that men like in women, and the third part is about meeting and dating men.

Lots of references to book characters and I don't really know what to make of some of it.

I don't know - are men really interested in a domestic goddess who has gingham curtains and cheerful tablecloths?

Back2Two Sat 04-Jan-14 18:48:59

Some will be. Some won't.
Are you interested in being a domestic goddess with the tablecloths and the curtains?
If not, forget it.

Twinklestein France Sat 04-Jan-14 20:47:00

I think gingham curtains and cheerful tablecloths appeal mainly to women tbh...

HorsePetal Sat 04-Jan-14 20:51:14

I'm interested to know what qualities men supposedly look for in a woman - what does the book say?

I could ask DH but I don't think he'd know grin

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sat 04-Jan-14 21:09:50

Well: the ability to drink me under the table, a mad laugh, a hide like a rhino, freckles, good at cakes and carpentry, more freckles and a complete inability to pronounce the word "antidisestablishmentarianism".

Didn't look for those, they just came with her as a package.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep Sat 04-Jan-14 21:14:56

disgrace grin

muchtooshy Sat 04-Jan-14 21:30:18

Apparently men look for Angelic Qualities and Human Qualities.

Angelic = Understanding men, inner happiness, worthy character, domestic goddess.

Human = Femininity, radiant happiness, radiant health, childlikeness.

I am flicking through it and reading Be a Girl Worth Having and then am going to read Winning His Attention. Men don't notice me so maybe it will help?

FreakinAllAboutSugar Sat 04-Jan-14 21:41:51

I would run screaming from a man who valued "childlikeness" in a romantic partner....

Please, OP, believe you are good enough as you are, you don't have to change for anyone. That confidence will make the difference.

Aussiemum78 Sat 04-Jan-14 21:47:50

I think there is a reference to this book in another book I read (Carolyn Jessops book about surviving polygamy in a cult).

The general idea is to be stupid and helpless and make the man feel like a big strong hero....um no.

Why is a relationship so important to you? Maybe you should concentrate on being ok on your own...that's probably more attractive to a man than being needy and submissive.

muchtooshy Sat 04-Jan-14 21:55:58

I have been single forever and men just don't notice me. :/

Childlikeness - bit of a weird idea tbh. I quite like the domestic goddess bit and some of the femininity stuff seems nice but really strict!

whydidthishappen Sat 04-Jan-14 21:57:10

I read somewhere that men dont like bookish women. Put down the books, ladies!!!

Twinklestein France Sat 04-Jan-14 22:00:57

Bookish men like bookish women, so if you put the book down you may not meet your match...

Twinklestein France Sat 04-Jan-14 22:02:58

I'm just going to state the bleedin' obvious: there many gazillions of different types of men out there who like different types of women.

If you impersonate a false persona from a book, you will attract guys drawn to that persona - who is not really you.

The way to attract the right guy for you is to be yourself.

FreakinAllAboutSugar Sat 04-Jan-14 22:04:25

I'm screwed then.

Better go tell DH to dump me forthwith... wink

I've read a few "attraction manuals" in my time and all of them at some point advocated growing your hair, wearing more dresses and makeup and expressing yourself in "I feel" rather than "I think" sentences.

Just reminded me horribly of the Harry Enfield "Women: Know Your Limits" sketch.

SinisterSal Sat 04-Jan-14 22:07:36

Puke!

Are you supposed to keep this up for the rest of your life if you twist yourself into knots to attract the kind of guy who likes this shit/

Gingham curtains will soon grate. Not to mind the angelic childlike femininity shizzle.

CheeseStrawWars Sat 04-Jan-14 22:07:56

"men just don't notice me"

Maybe you just don't notice men noticing you.

redundantandbitter Sat 04-Jan-14 23:01:35

Shit - I am not growing long hair and wearing make up , I'd look even worse than I do now !

Gonna be a long time single

Grumpla Sat 04-Jan-14 23:10:52

Fuck. That.

FreakinAllAboutSugar Sat 04-Jan-14 23:14:57
FreakinAllAboutSugar Sat 04-Jan-14 23:19:53

Seriously, to have a good relationship, you don't have to systematically iron out all your freakish or difficult traits, just find another difficult freak and you're set.

And I say this is someone who was actually knocked back by eharmony due to a lack of quality matches for me!

feelinlucky Sat 04-Jan-14 23:21:19

I like telling my friends I'm a man repellant smile maybe I just need to be submissive and wear dresses more often and there was me thinking it was my halitosis smile

feelinlucky Sat 04-Jan-14 23:22:23

I like telling my friends I'm a man repellant smile maybe I just need to be submissive and wear dresses more often and there was me thinking it was my halitosis smile

HavantGuard Sat 04-Jan-14 23:26:16

Gingham? Really?

Gingham?

Cheerful tablecloths?

Have you considered shelving the relationship search and writing a book full of bullshit about how to get a man because it seems there's money to be made ...

thecatfromjapan Sat 04-Jan-14 23:27:45

I think you almost certainly do not want anyone who is attracted to "childlike" qualities. Do you? No. Think about it, with your mind, for a minute or two.

Ha! to the poster earlier who pointed out that gingham curtains/Cath Kidston is more of a women's thing.

What sort of person do you want to be with? You don't have to attract men, you can go looking for the ones that attract you.

lookingfoxy Sat 04-Jan-14 23:29:37

Cheerful table covers?! Im away back to the male escort thread !!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now