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If your DP started a thread on MN about you...

(82 Posts)
rpitchfo Fri 27-Dec-13 21:51:23

This section spends a lot of the time analyzing in varying degrees of detail the actions and motives of DPs.

Time for a little bit of introspection.

If your DP started a thread in MN relationships about you what would it look like?

horsetowater Sat 28-Dec-13 07:25:36

My dp doesn't want to let me touch her. Is it because she is frigid, old, overweight or is it because i treat her like something that's stuck to the bottom of my shoe?

dozeydoris Sat 28-Dec-13 07:28:47

He wouldn't as he is unable to open up, even to strangers, about his true feelings.

Joysmum Sat 28-Dec-13 08:04:45

I couldn't give a shit about who started the thread and why, it's a great topic.

Mine would say that he works long hard hours to provide for the family and yet still his dw and dd moan because he's rarely home. Why can't they see he wants to be but also wants to make sure we are financially secure and have a good quality of life.

Vivacia Sat 28-Dec-13 08:36:11

I couldn't give a shit about who started the thread and why, it's a great topic.

Well, that's fine. I look forward to seeing the response that some of the more sad and poignant posts are going to get (or not get).

rpitchfo Sat 28-Dec-13 09:57:50

vivacia

I don't need any advice at the moment as i was trying to explore my own self awareness in a relationship. Thought it might be a worthwhile topic.

As for challenging MN posters, as a man, i think i have a responsibility -imposed self importance- to address this when as i see something i disagree with.

sad and poignant posts

You're probably right about this. Most of the replies do not address the actually feelings of the DP but are just exentions of the posters problems. I expected a little bit of that but not to the extent it's happened. This really isn't the thread to deal with this type of issues.

As a start mine would be.

"Why does my DP take his phone into bed with him?" - something she always remarks on - didn't take my phone to bed last night.

rpitchfo Sat 28-Dec-13 09:58:52

should read imposed self importance

TheFabulousIdiot Sat 28-Dec-13 10:01:39

Why is it important that you are a man! Wen it comes to addressing usurps on here?

Why do you take your phone to bed?
So you can look at mumsnet?

TheFabulousIdiot Sat 28-Dec-13 10:02:08

Issues not usurps

rpitchfo Sat 28-Dec-13 10:09:41

Fabulousidiot

That's a different thread really. But it's along the lines of mumsnet is a great place for women to come to get advice the goes against the usual misogynistic constructs of RL. However i do tend to think that this inherent gender bias sometimes spills out in a negative way. I try to provide a counter balance - not saying i'm always right and i'm not saying there aren't women on here who step in as well in those instances.

I go to bed with my phone because I've got it into my head that i can't possibly go to sleep without reading another BBC article to tire myself out. Bad habit that's got to stop.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 28-Dec-13 10:10:18

daiseehope - LTB - seriously.

I can imagine various things XH might have posted about me, most of which I would struggle to recognise myself in. I often think he didn't even see me at all, just a woman-shaped projection screen.

fifi669 Sat 28-Dec-13 10:56:43

I think the only thing that DP would write (excluding pregnancy induced hormonal issues) would be:

I've been a dad to DS3 since he was 6 months old as bio dad isn't interested. This works well all year until December when it's DS's birthday/Christmas when he leaves a present on the doorstep. DP thinks the polite thing to do is to send a text to say thank you. It winds me up that he pretends to be interested and that DP acknowledges it.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 11:55:55

Deary me, it's a good job we've got some right minded men around here to put us ladeez straight innit

What would we do without them ? < twinkle >

Pan Sat 28-Dec-13 12:00:44

You rang, m'lady?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 12:02:57

Fancy you popping up right at that moment, Pan fgrin

thornrose Sat 28-Dec-13 12:06:02

Beautiful timing grin

Pan Sat 28-Dec-13 12:06:20

It's a gift I have. Hope you are well.smile

FrankieStien Sat 28-Dec-13 12:14:04

DH's would be about my craft stash. " AIBU to not want bags of wool and fabric all the fucking place ".

FrankieStien Sat 28-Dec-13 12:14:59

All over the place.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 12:37:33

It's a blessed gift you have

I am fine Pan. Yourself ?

Mrsantithetic Sat 28-Dec-13 13:03:10

Mine would probably discuss my tendency to expect him to mind read.

Whilst I would post about him needing the smallest of things pointing out to him.

grin

Pan Sat 28-Dec-13 13:12:43

I'm fine thanks AF. Best thing is dd is growing into a tall, willowy beautiful young woman (it took rels. at Christmas to confirm this to her), and this is the girl who saw herself as 'small and thin'. Her mum and me just kept saying "give yourself time." And I've managed to lose about 8 kilos in the past couple of months. So we're all beautiful young things.grin

FluffyJumper Sat 28-Dec-13 13:15:01

So... You're here to keep mumsnetters on the straight and narrow. What - in case we get too happy chatting to other women?!

Are you on glue?

garlicbaubles Sat 28-Dec-13 13:21:44

Haha at rpitch fgrin It's a good thing you're not the only Mumsnetter with a penis, otherwise we might think you spoke authoritatively for all men. That really would be unfair on half the human race!

My DP - if I had one - would be whining about my depression, that I never seem excited about anything, cancel social events at the last minute, rarely bother with taking care of my appearance or the home, and have lost interest in sex.

Which is why I don't have a DP fsmile Considerate to a fault, me.

Pan Sat 28-Dec-13 13:42:48

So if I had a DP, they would probably say: he's utterly obsessive about his kitchen equipment to a fault, rearranges the dust without actually removing it, constantly asks 'does my bum look big in this?', thinks that bins empty themselves. But does a nice line in biscuit arrangements on plates. And makes me scream (with derisory laughter) in bed.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Sat 28-Dec-13 13:49:10

I have done enough "introspection" on the Stately Homes thread(s), thank you very much, rpitchfo.

Fortunately, my husband knows his place, and "knows Mumsnet is a place for women (that is not him wink ) and that it takes time to be dialed in to understand what is going on" (his words, I just asked him).

My Dh answer to "would you ever make a thread about me on MN?"
"You must be kidding. That would be encouraging. It would be just wrong."
grin

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