Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

awkward!!!

(31 Posts)
tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:08:54

Just been browsing fb and my ex best friend is dating the guy i lost my virginity to when i was 16 eeek. Dont often see her but my birthday coming up and she normally comes out with us for a few drinks this may get awkward... Im sure she wont have an idea i didnt know her 12 years ago when it happened.

Not sure if i should keep quiet or tell her. Theres no hard feeling with the bloke at all its all in the past just wondering what should do

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:12:41

May also throw a spanner in the works my OH also knows him used to live on his street as a child, he knows i lost my virginity to him and hes no fussed just think i should tell my friend. Although were not close anymore due to her stirring in my marriage i was still going to invite her out but may not now

ThePinkOcelot Fri 27-Dec-13 00:15:04

Why would you even think about mentioning this?! Totally irrelevant really. Bears no relation to the present imo.

offloadingthisshit Fri 27-Dec-13 00:15:33

Its two separate issues.

1. Are you going to continue to be friends afte rthe marriage issues? If you are then:

2. You should tell her as otherwise it seems to be more than it is and it will invariably come out and she'll wonder why you've not said. Plus, she may already know if the man in question has told her.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:15:34

This is all very teenage, isn't it ?

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:15:58

i know that but what if he tells her? Id look a bitch for keeping it to myself

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:17:25

Yes i agree reading back it does sound very silly and immature,

fuzzywuzzy Fri 27-Dec-13 00:17:47

If you're not close to either there's no feelings there between you and the guy & you're happy in your life and current relationship.

Why does if matter, why would it be awkward?

I'd leave them both alone & I'd also stop checking her fb.

Bearwantsmore Fri 27-Dec-13 00:19:42

I agree, I really don't see why you would need to mention it.

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:19:43

Im just a worrier and i dont check her fb shes on my news feeds. Just i know what shes like she falls out really easy and shell be really put out if she knew. I wont say out else anyway its ok

JuneauWhoIAm Fri 27-Dec-13 00:21:14

Who cares? If she says anything I'd just say, god it's so long ago does anyone care?

Do you care OP. Is it a big deal fir you?

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:22:40

JuneauWhoIAm - Yer i prob will say that thanks

No i dont care really just worry about her having an hissy fit about it

AndTheBandPlayedOn Fri 27-Dec-13 00:22:50

"And you sex life is anyone's business because...."
<<wide eyed stare...backing away slowly>>

namechange74 Fri 27-Dec-13 00:22:59

My best friend went out with my DH for YEARS in their early 20's - means nothing to any of us smile HTH.

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:23:29

Thanks, its ok i will stop getting in a flap about silly things making myself sound an idiot smile

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:24:44

namechange74 - yer i know people in same boat and nobody cares, i just think if she thinks shes been kept in the dark then she will kick up a fuss

namechange74 Fri 27-Dec-13 00:26:49

i understand - just tell her then, get it out in the open - good luck!

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:29:40

smile I was just a little surprised small world isnt it. I do worry too much

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:30:24

I don't understand why you socialise with her

she wil "kick off" if she finds out something that is fuck-all to do with her, and has "stirred" in your marriage ? So jettison her then. Simple.

you do seem to surround yourself with a lot of drama, going off your other threads, perhaps you enjoy getting yourself all worked up about nothing ?

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:32:52

Im just surrounded by idiots i know. I dont socialise with her that much anymore anyway only the odd txt and fb but last couple years shes come out for my bday as have mutual friends.

I deffinately dont like drama i dont know think i need to let things go over my head a bit

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:37:51

That was mean of me, I am sorry.

I would dump this "friend"

With friends like this, who needs enemies ....?

Who you have shagged before is nothing to do with her, your boyfriend or anyone at all other than you

In my group of friends going waaaaay back, I reckon we have all pretty much at the very least snogged each other (all went to school together). It's never referred to, and it's never a problem.

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:40:30

Its ok, im not bothered. Im not good at making new friends tbh.

Think most groups of friends this has happened i know its not a big deal really was just a bit surprised.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:42:16

Just because you are not good at making new friends doesn't mean you should hang onto the old shitty ones

SillyMillyOnAHilly Fri 27-Dec-13 00:58:42

Blimey, your threads are quite action packed grin. I recommend cutting down on Facebook and avoiding any idiot friends.

I don't get why she would come out with you on your birthday if you are not really friends confused.

Joysmum Fri 27-Dec-13 07:55:10

I don't see why you wouldn't mention it in passing. Something like 'Omg that's a blast from the past xxx was my first proper boyfriend!'

The trouble with not mentioning things is that situations can change and then the fact that you haven't mentioned them can be deemed as lying by omission and grow into something complicated.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now