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One night stand

(106 Posts)
bedhead2008 Tue 17-Dec-13 20:44:59

Had my first one night stand on Friday with a colleague. I had never really spoken to him before Friday, although I had noticed him (he is very, very good looking!!).

I am now incredibly embarrassed as I was very drunk and the sex was, well, awkward! I woke up in the early hours and left, he was asleep.

As I knew I would have to see him in work, I sent him a friendly email apologising for my behaviour and checking it wouldn't be awkward on Monday. He was friendly, said I should have stayed and he would have taken me home, told me not to be silly that it wouldn't be awkward.

Well it has been very awkward. He can't even look at me. I know he is single. I don't know what to do now? I now feel like I like him, but I'm not sure if this is normal after a one night stand? I feel so shit about the awkwardness as I'd hoped we could be friendly/I could gage if things could go further.

How should I handle this? What should I do? He is changing departments soon and I will not be seeing as much of him after next week.

MadBusLady Wed 18-Dec-13 14:04:27

Well, I've never been raped, subjected to anything sexually non-consensual or had anyone take advantage, norland, if that's what you mean. I still know about those topics and will introduce them where I think they're relevant.

bedhead2008 Wed 18-Dec-13 19:31:28

Just back from work and read responses. I did not plan on having sex with him when we kissed. I would like to pursue something, I find him attractive, have seen his caring side and feel lucky that he wanted to sleep with me! I'm just not sure how to go about it because of the situation.

Twinklestein Wed 18-Dec-13 19:58:03

Just go and chat to him at work and see what develops. I wouldn't ask him out cold with no feedback that he's interested. And I would draw a line under the other night, there's no need for more post mortems...

riverboat Wed 18-Dec-13 20:59:42

I was in a similar situation many years back: awkward mutually drunken sex with a guy from work I actually liked and could have seen myself with. After I just felt so embarrassed about the whole thing I couldn't relax around him or talk to him normally any more, even though he was still nice to me. About a year later he got together with someone else (also from work! Different part of the company though) and now they are married with a whole brood of children.

I am really happy with my now DP, but looking back I do regret that I couldn't have found a way to sort of power through that awkward stage and try to make a go of things with this guy, just to see if we could have had something. I dont know about all these insinuations that he took advantage of you, but if you think he was as drunk as you and that wasnt the case, maybe you could just ask him ( via email?) if he'd want to go for a drink after work one day to confront any awkwardness, and take it from there. He sounds nice from his texts, I imagine he'd say yes.

Don't get too hung up on the awkwardness of the sex! I think its really common with two extremely drunken people especially who are already friends/colleagues! You can get over that, I think.

Rainbowjonesy Fri 20-Dec-13 20:35:13

This made me laugh as virtually the exact same thing happened to me a few months back. Work summer party, a few too many drinks and I ended up in my hotel room having a few drinks with a colleague from another office who I didn't know very well. He left to go back to his room but turned up again a few mins later saying he'd locked himself out of his room. Being totally naive (and very drunk!) I told him he could sleep in my bed. Passed out and woke up to him kissing me....and one thing led to another. He made a hasty exit in the morning and we avoided each other like the plague for quite a while. We have sent the occasional work related email since but have both avoided the subject of what happened that night. Luckily as we don't work in the same office I didn't have to face him until last weeks christmas party when he seemed to be there every time I turned round! Awkward to say the least and we still can't look at each other! Moral of the story.....don't shit where you eat! Best to keep professional and private life separate! I still cringe when I think about it! It cheered me up reading your story though - good to know I'm not the only person to disgrace myself at a work do!

Best of luck, whatever happens with him! Don't get too hung up on him though, it's too easy for us girls to fall for the men we sleep with!

Itstartshere Fri 20-Dec-13 21:07:00

Do you know if he used protection, if you were very drunk?

Are you on the pill?

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