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Women watching porn

(261 Posts)
OhGodAmITheOnlyOne Wed 11-Dec-13 20:35:44

I've name changed and also posted about this in chat, but thought I might get better response here. This is 100% genuine. I occasionally look at porn or read erotic stories because it gets me in the mood. I don't know if DH knows, but I was wondering if it's common, if many women do? Or am I an awful person? hmm

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 31-Dec-13 10:42:36

Quite clear thanks, SGB*

jabeen100 Tue 31-Dec-13 11:56:06

The difficult part is renting the film at the store without turning beet red in the face.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 31-Dec-13 12:31:49

side splitting

PayThePiper3 Sun 12-Jan-14 03:51:59

thisismyYuleTimenickname

Bit late now but absolutely incensed by your post which I have just read.

Quote

You haven't really read the thread have you, PayThePiper3.
People here are making a difference between porn videos and fictive erotic material(1). But please do tell us more about how you know that cave paintings were only created by men (2), who were wanking to it (3), and how it's the same thing as videos of real people doing real sex acts.

Unquote

(1) Many people were not acknowledging that porn had many different sources and that it was obvious when going into ethically dodgy areas. I was not making a point about the medium.

(2) I was using the term man as in mankind not men as in the gender, obviously.

(3) I never suggested that there were wanking cave men. Not all porn is about wanking.

(4) I never said it was the same thing as real people doing sex acts. Not sure where you got that from.

Please do not put words in my mouth and then object to them.

Thanks,

P

MostWicked Mon 13-Jan-14 20:23:14

I came across a very interesting video article earlier:

They're Harassed And Criminalized. But Could They Be The Solution To A Big Sex Industry Problem? LINK

Sex Workers Tell Twitter: 'We Don't Want Rescuing' LINK

Looks like many of these sex workers are in this profession through free adult choice. They want to put a stop to any trafficking or exploitation that is happening so that their industry can be cleaned up and they can carry on doing the work that they enjoy, without being told that they are victims.

An interesting take on that aspect of the debate which is 'porn harms relationships'.

beachside Thu 16-Jan-14 21:23:29

SGB, thats a terrific article you linked to. Well written, well thought out, well argued.

Sadly, I can't see it changing many posters opinions and there's more than a few who posted here who might well benefit from it. But I don't imagine it will happen sad The allpornisbad brigade will never change their view.

Logg1e Thu 16-Jan-14 21:53:59

I don't think it's particularly well-argued at all.

yes, so sad sad what on earth will we do without porn in our lives?

I can't think of any benefit I'm missing since ditching it.

<joins brigade>
<puts on special hat>
<bangs drum>

hmm

AnyFucker Thu 16-Jan-14 22:02:18

As someone who hates both porn and romcoms I don't see that article as saying anything relevant at all

"porn as a form of intimacy" ??

how ridiculous

beachside Sat 18-Jan-14 20:17:51

Hi Anyfucker,

Didn't the writer say in the article she was only working with what she'd got and that it needn't be a Romcom?

And didn't the writer say that; 'The issue at the heart of the boyfriend’s question isn’t betrayal or even sex. Rather, it’s intimacy....As long as a person doesn’t allow media to subsume real life, both are perfectly acceptable forms of entertainment.

Perhaps your summary missed the point a little.

Logg1e Sat 18-Jan-14 21:00:57

I thought her point was that women watch romantic comedies and drool over the actor/character and this is just the same as men watching porn. Both are just after intimacy.

She didn't talk about women who like to watch porn (or men who like to watch rom coms). She didn't quite get around to the sexual exploitation, drug dependency, physical injuries etc that you get with the romantic comedy industry.

Only it doesn't have to be a romantic comedy, she's just using that as an example, and it could be anything. That's just the same as porn.

trixie1970 Sat 18-Jan-14 21:21:16

I love watching porn. I watch alone and with DH and very regularly. Nothing wrong with it and it adds to our very healthy sex life….oh and I feel like a sex kitten too! No, not just feel like one...I am one!

Go girls!!!

AnyFucker Sat 18-Jan-14 22:18:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Suelford Sat 18-Jan-14 22:42:28

Oh let's not do the snide "cool" thing, it's cringeworthy now.

AnyFucker Sat 18-Jan-14 22:45:38

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

beachside Sun 19-Jan-14 08:44:22

Erm, amyfucker,

Haven't you just made a couple of personal attacks on Trixie? Isn't that counter to mumsnet policy? She was only expressing her opinion and I don't think she needed to be called a pornhound or overexcited.

Shouldn't you apologise or withdraw them or something?

tilliebob Sun 19-Jan-14 10:02:37

Reading about it - yes. Watching it - no! I tend to burst out laughing at porn and find it all vaguely ludicrous. A lot ludicrous to be honest. Would rather do it than watch it - and even then we sometimes get the giggles wink.

91chloejp Sun 19-Jan-14 10:43:04

I think porn can destroy boundaries when 'casual viewing' becomes an unhealthy obsession/addiction. I've seen it happen and it can destroy relationships. As one poster said, conventional sex became boring and so their fantasies started to become more 'unusual'..

Also how many depraved people have admitted to their porn addiction? I'm not accusing anyone here of being a depraved person and neither am I on my high horse preaching, I'm just genuinely curious.

Why is it normal to watch other people having sex on your laptop/phone, but if you were to randomly look up during sex to find a group of people watching you, you'd accuse them of being sickos or peeping toms.

I'm all for people trying new things (within reason) but where is the line drawn? I'm pretty sure there is a category for everything in the porn industry, my cousin even told me about menstrual porn. Who the feck is watching that?

nickymanchester Sun 19-Jan-14 11:10:01

but if you were to randomly look up during sex to find a group of people watching you, you'd accuse them of being sickos or peeping toms

Not necessarily. For quite a few women that's actually quite a big fantasy

MostWicked Sun 19-Jan-14 13:48:30

Porn has been around for centuries. Article about 4000yr old erotica
Sexual desire is a basic human drive and many people are visually stimulated - they always have been. I find the image in that link erotic. Is it pornographic? I don't know, because people have different definitions of what is pornographic.
Just insisting that it is wrong and disgusting and should be banned, is futile. It does however, need to be produced in an ethical way.
If porn is drawn rather than photographed or filmed, is that any different?

Joysmum Sun 19-Jan-14 14:41:11

It's a good point. Porn is about sex, rom coms promote a fantasy of relationships and emotional attachment. Which is worse? Personally I think sex is sex (although Monigamy is the rule for us) but I'd be most hurt by my husband fantasising about living his life with another. That to me would be utter rejection.

Logg1e Sun 19-Jan-14 15:18:53

MostWicked, Just insisting that it is wrong and disgusting and should be banned, is futile.

I agree. I dislike porn and I wouldn't go out with a man who watched it. However, I believe in freedom of speech and understand that some people want to watch others having anal sex, gang bangs etc.
I think that a quality mark system is the way to go, in order to control illegal images/film and to protect the health and rights of those in the porn.
I also think that when porn is discussed, it's important that the negative effects should of porn should be stated (like cigarette health warnings), as well as stating the fact that not everybody watches porn and it's ok to choose not to.
There should be better education about porn too.

MostWicked Sun 19-Jan-14 16:16:02

I like the idea of a quality mark.

There should be more discussion and education, but it has to look at the subject in a broad sense, not just the extremes. Porn is not all anal and gang bangs, I would describe some of it as quite beautiful, but I know not everyone would be able to see beauty in graphic detail.

I suppose the health warning is similar to alcohol. Some enjoy, others don't, but use responsibly, don't overdo it, and if you find yourself needing it, you've got a problem.

sazgirl Mon 03-Mar-14 14:31:33

I love watching porn. I watch alone and with DH and very regularly. Nothing wrong with it, it enriches and varies our sex life. I feel empowered, in charge and very very sexy...DH never complains he "loves me to bits"
never feel guilty...its just good sexy fun !!!

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