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Relationships

LITERALLY Just been called that ex MIL has died - but he's a c***

28 replies

ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 00:26

I posted about 2 hours ago about being lonely after splitting in february and I have literally and I MEAN LITERALLY just got a call from ex that his mother has just died!

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Maoamstripes · 11/12/2013 00:32

OMG. I have been replying to your other post, you must be in shock? are you on your own? not sure what to say, again more processing but most of all look after you, you have no responsibility to him

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bunchoffives · 11/12/2013 00:34

Why's he ringing you? What does he want? Were you close to ex-MIL?

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ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 00:41

Yes - i was close "back in the day" if that doesn't sound too american. She has dementia But also he has NO ONE ELSE. no siblings nothing. FUCK.

I guess I just have to be there for him!

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Maoamstripes · 11/12/2013 00:44

he has noone else as he has chosen it to be that way. you are in shock and sounds like you are panicking, why should you be there for him. sorry i seem harsh, but he is your ex and he was abusive to you. Be there for him if that suits you however be careful with boundaries.

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Maoamstripes · 11/12/2013 00:46

he slept with prostitutes.
you are vulnerable and feel lonely, please be careful

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bunchoffives · 11/12/2013 00:49

I guess I just have to be there for him!

Why? What will happen if you're not?

And I repeat, why's he ringing you? What does he want?

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Lighthousekeeping · 11/12/2013 00:57

Of course you don't have to be there for him. Tomortoe is another day and you might not feel so lonely then.

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ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 01:24

because if I'm not there there will be hell to pay and he wiill hold it against me forever !!

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GhettoPrincess001 · 11/12/2013 01:27

No doubt, on a human level only, you will probably sympathise with him. However, you might need to put your foot down regarding arranging the funeral etc etc etc. As in you doing the co ordinating with the undertakers, caterers etc

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Whatnext074 · 11/12/2013 01:27

Do what you need to do June. It's a shock to you too.

I'm sorry for your loss if you were close before, you're allowed to grieve.

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ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 01:29

Lighthousekeeping - please tell me why I don't have to be there for him?

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GhettoPrincess001 · 11/12/2013 01:33

Firstly, it's late, you need to sleep. It's his mother not yours. It's his family member, not one of yours. Don't let him use you for sympathy or anything else.

Is he just being drama about it ? Why couldn't he have waited until a more civilised hour to tell you ?

You could just say, 'I am very sorry she has died, apart from anything this is not related to our situation.'

You've had rows with this man before, I assume ? So, even if he goes ballistic, haven't you kinda heard it all before anyway ?

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ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 01:36

He wants to come round - to see our son? Our son is askeep

and he's coming from a brothel! FUCK FUCK FUCK..

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ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 01:39

I mean lap dancing club

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GhettoPrincess001 · 11/12/2013 01:39

Then the answer is a very firm NO. If he comes anyway, PHONE THE POLICE. You could call the police on the non emergency number just for some advice.

It really is far to late for this crap from him.

(I'm wondering if this is genuine)

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GhettoPrincess001 · 11/12/2013 01:40

I accept that he's only just told you she's died, but when did she die ? Was he at her bedside or not when she died ?

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GhettoPrincess001 · 11/12/2013 01:42

How far is it from where he is to your house ? If he's been drinking, I assume he won't be able to drive ? So he'll have to come over in a taxi, yes ?

Are you sober ?

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Whatnext074 · 11/12/2013 01:44

I'd say NO!

If you want, he can talk to you tomorrow. You and your DS do.not.need. this.tonight.

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Dirtybadger · 11/12/2013 01:45

Lock the doors.

If you think he needs someone to talk to give him the number to the relevant support agencies (I'm sure someone else knows what they are, afraid I don't).

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GhettoPrincess001 · 11/12/2013 01:52

This thread's gone very quiet all of a sudden, I wonder why......

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ScrewedUpJune · 11/12/2013 01:58

Thank you every0ne It is geuuine and I have managed to tell him that we can deal with practicalities tonorrow. And that he should go to bed x I I have to be honest - someone said it was not true and I don;t like people who are truthful least of al mums

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Jengnr · 11/12/2013 07:29

You don't need to be there for him. He is not your responsibility.

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 11/12/2013 07:31

He is your ex.

You used to have to be there for him. Not now.

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JeanSeberg · 11/12/2013 07:33

So on hearing the news his mum had just passed away he went straight to a strip club...

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KingRollo · 11/12/2013 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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