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Emotional affair over

(34 Posts)
Barbados01 Mon 09-Dec-13 17:54:44

Hi everyone I'm in a real pickle iv been happily married for 22 years my husband is a good man we are very comftable nice house holidays and good lifestyle as well as 2 sons21 and 18 I honestly have never looked elsewhere , until a couple of months ago I ran into someone I used to know and wham bam I thought I'd been run over fell hopelessly in love.he is twice divorced with 5 kids and not much money but we've been texting and when iv seen him around , he's a local shop manager we've had kisses and cuddles, all of a sudden he's gone cold on me and I feel like my hearts been ripped out how can I get over this

Barbados01 Tue 10-Dec-13 18:46:41

Thank you isthegrassgreener and everyone else I'm really going to try and concentrate on my husband and forget the other man , I suppose I was just a bit shocked at my emotions and behaviour with other man as iv never betrayed my husband before, the weird thing is other man is completely opposite to my husband , he's like a rough and ready type whilst my hipusband is a smart business man they are worlds apart

Lazyjaney Tue 10-Dec-13 18:54:44

What fluffy jumper said, it happens, you are hardly the first or last and this is small beer by any standards. Ignore & drop OM, say nowt, go back to where you were. If still you feel this was a wake cup call in a few months, then start to act on it.

GhettoPrincess001 Wed 11-Dec-13 02:00:41

It's going to hurt presently. In a years' time you'll look back and think, 'oh that'.

He ended it abruptly because that's his idea of a clean break. An honest man won't pursue a married woman. Please bear that in mind.

He knew you were not going to leave your husband and did not want to be used or to use you. Don't forget, you have a husband to go home to. The shop Manager probably goes home to an empty house.

Oh, and do yourself a favour, keep it to yourself. You can live it down in your own head. Your husband will process the information differently.

Barbados01 Wed 11-Dec-13 07:22:51

Thank you ghettoprincess i will keep it to myself i never had a full sexual relationship with him , and your right he probs thought it too much aggro getting involved with married woman, even though he knew how much i wanted to be with him

GhettoPrincess001 Thu 12-Dec-13 01:43:45

That's ok, you're welcome. He, i.e. OM, doesn't want an angry husband to have to deal with. Once it all blew up, he has no control over what you might have said to your husband, even if only to cover your tracks. You may have been perfectly honest, OM doesn't know that.

You will look back on this in a year or more's time and see it for the kiss and cuddle that it really was, well, physically anyway. Would you really have upset your own marital 'apple cart' for that ?

Don't worry, that, 'what did I see in you' moment is due in the coming months re: OM.

The song, 'Best Thing I never had' made me smile in a similar situation.

It sounds like a fantasy - you were in love with the excitement and attention, the novel situation. But he used you and dumped you and you are starting to see the fantasy for the hollow shell it was.

You must decide whether to invest in your marriage or move on alone.

PileOfSheet Sun 15-Dec-13 08:11:05

You wanted to be with him over your husband? I think you need to have a long think about what you want because it sounds like you are only with your dh for the 'comfortable lifestyle'. I feel sorry for your husband :/

Barbados01 Sun 15-Dec-13 10:40:49

Your right I do really want to be with him , but if he hadn't come into my life I would never even consider another man , i do love my husband but I don't feel the same feelings of lust as I do with other man, anyway I haven't seen other man for a week and although I'm heartbroken I feel things are getting back to normal and I'm trying to put past behind me x

MistressDeeCee Mon 16-Dec-13 07:05:33

Barbados01 just read your post, and the thread. You dont need to go into this man's shop again in the new year, I can bet its not the only shop in your town. & you're also sending your son into the shop of a man you've had an affair with..the man his mum cheated on his dad with. Im thinking then, the shop must be pretty close by and your husband knows this man too. So you can't be feeling THAT guilty. It just sounds like you are planning to come face to face with him again. I 'get' that affairs can happen - you never can tell, in this life. But when excuses are made so as to prolong contact, then its unkind and unfair gameplaying.

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