Hello,
I have been lurking on this board for a very long time. I have been having problems in my marriage for even longer. A general overview is my husband is a lazy drunk, who is very Nasty,verbally abusive, jealous, but to the outside world a perfect Dad and husband. He has threatened to kill me a couple of times.
Recently, I have been poorly which was mainly triggered by stress. Stress of living with my husband, I think. This has given me the push to leave and make a new life for my children and I.
We have two children age 4 and 2. My youngest child has a learning delay and some behavioural problems, which are currently being assessed by various professionals. Baring this in mind I'm trying to make the move as stress free for them as possible, because my 4 year old can be very sensitive. My husband has refused to move out of our jointly mortgaged home. My solicitor advised me to move out, due to the stress it is having on me and the impact it is having on my health.
So, I'm moving on Friday!! I have told my husband and since then he has turned into a vile, vile person. My 4 year old told me that he had told him our new house is full of monsters and it's horrible and he will never see him again if he moves. I'm deeply shocked that he has said these things to a 4 year old. How utterly vile,, my 4 year old explained to me that his "dad is lying, because monsters are only in stories".
I could write an essay on the things he has done, but it just makes me think that my moving day can't come quick enough. I'm sure he will try and up the ante this week to try and stop us from going. Which I'm very scared of, I keep thinking he is going to do something so I won't be able to go.
Thanks for reading
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Relationships
Finally leaving..
sparklysausage · 09/12/2013 11:16
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? 
In a way though. she's done you a favour by making you more certain about the CSA and solicitor approach. Personally I'm also hugely relieved that you're at your Mum's. When you're dealing with unreasonable people like your ex and his mother, take a big step back from them, keep yourself and those you love safe, and send in others to cut them down to size on your behalf. Good luck
I'm so sorry you were all subjected to that. It must have been very upsetting, especially for the children.
I think you need to write everything down, make a diary of everything that has been said and done by him and any of his family. Start with what happened yesterday, but then write down as much of everything else that you can remember. Dates and times if you can (Spring 1964 
, for example, if that's all you can remember). If you can take photos too, even better.
So glad you're at your mum's now. Have you got a couple of big strong chaps who can get your stuff?
Don't answer the texts.
I'd suggest getting a separate phone/number just for his calls.
Keep going forward 
Make your mantra "ignore ignore ignore". You keep your dignity, don't let him take that, too.
Keep all communications from him though. They are good evidence should you need it; also keep a diary of everything connected with him. That becomes good evidence too.
You are handling this so well, adrenalin or not.
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