I need to share my husband's (he is definitely not dh) unbearable behaviour. Hopefully someone can help me cope.
Background: we have a terrible relationship anyway and I've actually filed for divorce 2 yrs ago but didn't take it any further.
I had to make an important phone call tonight and I needed to get the children asleep first. There was no way round it, I had to tell H my plan, knowing that would be an open invitation to him to try and ruin things.
I simply wanted to say: I'll get the kids alseep as normal. Then I'll phone the woman. Please could you deal with the kids if they wake up.
Well, that meant he came into my room under the pretext of wanting to see the kids and spent an hour having a go at me about anything that came into his head. Then when there was only 45 mins to go until I had to make the call he cranked up a gear and started getting hysterical with the kids screaming and laughing. Winding them up as much as he could.
Finally he left the room and I was settling them down (I have a toddler and a baby) then when I'd turned the light out he came in turning on the light saying he needed some socks and having a go at me for not having washed enough socks for him, even though I'd specifically left a clean pair on his bed to avoid this very situation. By this point there was only 10 mins until I had to make the call. I ended up shouting at him to leave the room as I had to bf baby to sleep. Cue him to have a massive go at me for shouting in front of the children.
I slowly bf baby to sleep knowing I've already missed the agreed time for the call. Next minute H turns on all the lights in the hall and baby's room and starts hoovering with our really powerful dyson. Last time H hoovered? Never.
He knew I had to transfer the baby from my bed into his cot in the next room. This is almost impossible even with complete darkness and silence. I get out of bed leaving baby precariously in my bed next to my wide awake toddler to plead with him to stop.
Finally get baby into cot and make call 30mins later than I should have, only for baby to wake up during the call. H hollers for me to get baby for ages, as painful as it is for me to leave the baby, I ignore both of them. Next minute H has brought screaming baby into my face and stays holding him there, forcing me to end the call.
This situation is so much worse because it was H who was forcing me to make this call in the first place, and who put me in a situation where I had to make the call.
Can you believe the stress I'm living under? Can anyone help me cope?
The worst is, this is actually a really minor incident for us. He's been so much worse in the past. I would normally just shrug this off as him being difficult, but none of my friends can appreciate what that really means. But this is the sort of behaviour that turns you mad.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Crazy and controlling dh - relatively minor incident but please help me cope
princessx · 04/12/2013 23:38
Honey, I'm so sorry this man is terrorising you. Has he abused you physically in the past? He is certainly abusing you emotionally. You and your children do not have to suffer at his hands. None of this is your fault in any way. Please contact Woman's Aid. They can provide support and assistance. I will be thinking about you...nobody should have to bear the cruelty you are currently living with 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.