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Me again - what do I do for the best ?

(228 Posts)
Mosman Mon 02-Dec-13 00:05:35

So I'm still in Perth Australia. I was working, had a great job which I got made redundant from because the market here has gone so quiet it's like 2007 in the uk. It came with a 457 visa which means no entitlement to child benefit, rental assistance or tax credits equivalent.
Dickhead managed to get himself a commission only job which just covers the rent and food, nothing else. He needs a car - we have a loan for $1100 a month - we simply cannot pay it.
With the job going my visa is finished on 25th January 2014 unless one of us gets sponsorship - based on previous experience it's unlikely to be him.
He wants, no sorry is insisting on staying in Perth.
God knows how - he wants us to get permanent residency but time is not on our side - come 25th January we would be here illegally which will go against us in any application for residency.
So it's down to me to get a job and another visa to help a man who's screwed me over for the past five years to live his dream and the only reason I would do this is so my kids see their father.
If I go back to the uk he plans to visit once a year and Skype FFs.
I have concerns about what child support he would pay - its my only source of income ATM and he regularly threatens to withdraw it even now.
What do I do ? I am so worried the children will blame me for taking them from their father and friends and tbh Perth is the better place to bring kids up. I just can't even think straight with all the stress.
To add insult to injury he is online dating, telling the children the names of his one night stands, choosing to go and see women the night before he leaves for a business trip rather than job hunting. He's a complete cunt tbh, I wonder how much of a loss he would be to the kids anyway if they never saw him again.

Mosman Wed 18-Dec-13 03:19:48

It seems to me the lesser risk is to get that flight, go home and give him another month to get his act together. If he's all sorted by 4th Feb I could come back and be in time for the girls to start the Aussie school term and if not then I'll know I made the right decision .... Dies that sound sensible ?

arfishy Wed 18-Dec-13 03:45:51

Hmm. Having gone through only part of the process and found it incredibly difficult I can see that there's a high chance he'll stuff it up or not do it/leave it too long.

If you want to bring the girls up in Australia and close to their father then you still have a chance with your own 457 with a hope that you can get your employer to sponsor you for PR after 2 years.

My freshly minted 457 took ages to come through though - we applied in Feb using a corporate migration agent and it came through in July. So in theory you'll need a bridging visa from Jan anyway, which is a pain and more $$$.

If you do go back to the UK you might have to wait a year before he gets the paperwork done and the processing time is completed plus you'll have to pay for another set of flights.

From your OP everything points towards staying in Perth - you say it's better for the children, they'll see their dad, you're more likely to get him to pay, plus if you're here you can nag him about the paperwork.

Do you enjoy living here? Do the children? What would be better if you went back home?

Mosman Wed 18-Dec-13 05:50:48

I do like it here, the kids are generally settled, I'm seeing somebody it could be great if the uncertainty was removed.

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