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inappropriate fling with inappropriate man.

(19 Posts)
idiotin2013 Fri 29-Nov-13 20:40:01

Name changed!

I have been an idiot - so so stupid that I think my brain might be broken.

I had a fling with someone I shouldn't have, he's single and I was very recently separated at the time (I think my marriage break down affected my judgement) and TBH the actual fling part of things ended a while ago but his behaviour has people joking about us, all fun and games but the joking is full of embarrassing truths that would result in some great gossip and difficult explanations if it was properly discovered!

I want to move on and pretend this year didn't happen but I see the fling man every day (not a co-worker though) I'm still very a little bit sexually attracted to him and every day he stares at me and acts like a teenage boy whenever I'm around him and people continue to talk and laugh about how "cute" he is. It's not cute, I'm fairly sure he's acting this way on purpose.

How are you supposed to move on and kill something like this?

Charcoalbriquettes Fri 29-Nov-13 20:43:22

In what way is he inappropriate? It sounds like he is just indiscreet.

lizzzyyliveson Fri 29-Nov-13 20:47:24

Do you still want to be with him? Forget about other people and go for what you want. I 'lost' a bloke at uni once because he was too concerned about his friends' opinion of me and it still rankles. You won't always know these people who would laugh and say things but you could be together with your sexy guy.

Vivacia Fri 29-Nov-13 20:49:11

Why is it inappropriate? Are you just worried about what other people might think?

idiotin2013 Fri 29-Nov-13 20:53:26

The fling fizzled out, he's still flirty, we send occasional flirty messages, there is still eye contact and longing looks, but I'm quite sure its just a mutual ego boost at this point. I think I scare him actually.

Not entirely inappropriate, but there is a professional relationship that shouldn't be crossed for some good reasons.

Charcoalbriquettes Fri 29-Nov-13 20:55:12

Well to answer your question, you move on by going no contact.

Twinklestein Fri 29-Nov-13 20:58:14

Well sod it, you've done it now. Do you actually want to stop?

IslaValargeone Fri 29-Nov-13 21:00:35

Don't engage, don't meet with the flirty eye contact.

idiotin2013 Fri 29-Nov-13 21:03:38

If I didn't want to slam him against the nearest wall and remove his clothes quite as badly as I do, I wouldn't mind it continuing, but all this is doing is creating a lot of unresolvable sexual tension for me angry

Tried no contact. We're barely in contact anyway, and the contact we have during the day is something I can't get out of.

idiotin2013 Fri 29-Nov-13 21:06:07

When I tried not engaging, the rumours just changed direction - we'd obviously broken up and wasn't it "cute"! Feels not to dissimilar to being in a school playground!

Twinklestein Fri 29-Nov-13 21:10:26

If slam him against a wall a bit more you might lost interest naturally...

Work will gossip either way, so you might as well be hung for sheep as a lamb.

(I don't know why I'm not telling you to be sensible. Sorry blush)

nopanicandverylittleanxiety Fri 29-Nov-13 21:58:57

if you are both single then have fun

blueshoes Fri 29-Nov-13 22:56:09

Yeah, what's stopping you. In for the penny, in for the pound.

idiotin2013 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:58:45

It doesn't move past the looking at each. It is very tedious, the rumour mill is having more fun than I am!

idiotin2013 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:59:16

missing words out all over the place - looking past each other!

FluffyJumper Sat 30-Nov-13 01:41:37

Professional relationship?

Hmmm, that could mean anything.

Are you doing something professionally very wrong, or is it just a bit embarrassing?

Go on some online dates with men in another town and take your mind off him.

sadwidow28 Sat 30-Nov-13 02:42:12

Not entirely inappropriate, but there is a professional relationship that shouldn't be crossed for some good reasons.

That statement is contradictory. But if there is a professional relationship that shouldn't be crossed then DO NOT CROSS IT AGAIN.

notnagging Sat 30-Nov-13 04:23:46

I'm sorry op, I fail to see what the problem is. Your both single and like each other but your worried about other peoples opinions? I thought you were both married or he was your boss or something. The gossips are not part of your relationship. Their opinion shouldn't be part of it.

blueshoes Sat 30-Nov-13 17:12:05

What are the good reasons for not crossing a professional relationship? People meet their future spouses at work all the time - not saying he is your future husband but why isn't it worth a shot?

One of you could change jobs down the line, if need be. Otherwise most workplaces recognise these things happen. Are there any rules against fraternisation (so old fashioned) in your office?

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