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did you have pre wedding nerves?

(64 Posts)
OohBridget Fri 29-Nov-13 13:39:45

I get married in a fortnight and up until today never felt any nerves etc.

yesterday my friend and I met s complete stranger. An old chap running a stall. Ww were chatting about areas and work etc. When my impending marriage plans came up. He went on and on about how marriage ruins everything etc.

now im like. . oh fuck. lol

did anyone have any niggles and if so how has it all panned out. I'm trying to decide if my new found nerves are silly. . I haven't got long to back out lol!!

shushpenfold Mon 02-Dec-13 17:17:54

…agh - that IS

shushpenfold Mon 02-Dec-13 17:17:40

…to marry him that it!!

shushpenfold Mon 02-Dec-13 17:17:00

Major wobbles……18 years later and it's still the best decision I ever made. grin

OohBridget Mon 02-Dec-13 17:15:18

hahs he was old enough to be my grandfather and had a heart problem grin

only thunderbolts for stbdh wink

ta x

MadBusLady Mon 02-Dec-13 13:14:23

When I read "yesterday my friend and I met a complete stranger" I thought it was going to continue "and there were angelic trumpets and thunderbolts and now I think I'm marrying the wrong man."

grin Not tempted by a ranty old stallholder then??

You sound lovely. Hope it's a great day flowers

OohBridget Mon 02-Dec-13 13:08:45

Just wanted to come back and say, even though I had no previous worries, I took a few hours out the other night to really dig deep and check myself. .. just incase.

and I just know its right. I literally cannot think of a single why not or why I don't want to. I'm just nervous for the day itself. Not. about the man. Which is good...since I've 12 days to go! !!!

ZombieMojaveWonderer Mon 02-Dec-13 09:31:07

Yes the first time and no the second. I couldn't bloody wait to get that ring on my husbands finger the second time wink we met and married in just over a year and four years later we are very much in love and so much happier than either have ever been! smile
Good luck op, we are all different and cope differently with certain situations.

Hogwash Sun 01-Dec-13 20:13:14

Nope.

Listen to your heart not some old bloke on a stall.

specialsubject Sun 01-Dec-13 17:50:42

somebody whose marriage didn't work out won't be keen on the idea.

if the fancy-dress party wasn't happening, would you still be happy to spend the rest of your life with this man?

if so, you're fine.

good luck and best wishes!

Flisspaps Sun 01-Dec-13 17:37:33

Oh, him seeing you all dressed up in your frock for the first time is fab. I remember it clearly grin DH mouthed 'wow' and the fear of falling over melted away.

HandbagCrazy Sun 01-Dec-13 00:45:00

I've been married for almost a year, after being together since we were 17. I was 100% sure marriage was the right thing for us but about a week before the wedding I had a realisation of what marriage means and sort of disengaged with the wedding plans. It lasted 4 days. all was good after this apart from when I got to the venue and had a panic about tripping over/messing up the vows but that was about it smile
I'm sure it'll be great on the day. Nerves are normal no matter how sure you are. As long as your relationship is a good one (and it seems to be from your posts) so relax and then enjoy every second of your day x

LaQueenOfTheTimeLords Sat 30-Nov-13 18:32:14

No, not at all. Our wedding day was one of those magical times when I felt I was in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing, and with exactly the right person. Just felt a strange combination of excited contentment, if that makes sense?

However, having said that I know of people who felt much the same as I did, but were divorced within 5 years...and other people who were physically sick with nerves the morning of their wedding, and are still loved up 12 years later.

marzipanned Sat 30-Nov-13 11:21:14

You are definitely doing the right thing!

I love what you say about him waiting for you when you're all dressed up...BEST feeling in the world! Try to get someone to take a sneaky picture of his face when he first sees you. And don't worry about the fall out, it's the two of you, and your kids, that matter here, not the rest of the family.

OohBridget Sat 30-Nov-13 09:36:13

living ..we've gone from getting married in two years.. to bringing it forward a year. .then another 6 months. Then we called it all off and book it all in8weeks lol. I just couldn't wait much longer grin

OohBridget Sat 30-Nov-13 09:34:12

I am so nervous about our return. We had planned a huge wedding that went tits up and got ruined. So no one actually knows. We're eloping and our hisfamilies response is unpredictable so I think its overshadowing my excitement.

I know when we're all dressed up and I see him waiting for me, ..I just. I think about that moment alot grin

livingzuid Sat 30-Nov-13 09:31:52

Same as paper months before the wedding and tried to call it off twice. Ended up going through with it, separated 9 months later and filed for divorce 1 year and 1 day to the date of the wedding. But it was different from jitters, I knew in my bones for ages it was all wrong, just didn't have the courage to change that and chose to listen to everyone around me who said I was wrong and mad.

Second time round I was so impatient to get married! As soon as we could we registered to get married and on the day we were both nervous but more because we wanted to get married so badly. Now pregnant with our first.

Don't think you should listen to some grouchy guy on a market stall. Who on earth is he anyway to lecture you on your relationship?

NoComet Sat 30-Nov-13 09:24:32

No, DH and I got engaged after six weeks, actually getting married was just an automatic continuation of that, that had to wait until we finished courses and could live together.

And no last minute night before nerves because I was rather tipsy on G&T grin

Flisspaps Sat 30-Nov-13 09:16:00

No nerves from the proposal until I got to the church, and even then I only worried about falling over my own feet in the aisle. No worries about the actual marriage at all. I didn't fall over, it was all lovely, 4 years on and I still think I did the right thing grin

brettgirl2 Sat 30-Nov-13 09:11:19

Its your age op. When I got married 12 years ago (no dcs) at 23 I had a few people make horrible rude comments.

My feeling is that actually, yes, you do change during your 20s but you are also more flexible to accept the change (or growth) in one another.

I did feel children would tie me down though and I had my first at 31! Marriage in my early 20s didn't stop me having all the freedom I wanted. smile Now things are different, sigh. .....

Good luck with it.

JadziaSnax Sat 30-Nov-13 09:06:34

I was 23 when I got married. No nerves or jitters at all until the night before and I was only worried about messing up my vows & the chaos outside the venue as there were major roadworks in the town centre.

Still happily together, been married for 16 years now, together for 22 years. I too had comments about being so young, I was 18 when we met & 21 when we bought our house.

Just laugh that guy off. As Yellowcake said, you wouldn't take financial advice from a random stranger, why take marriage advice? Your instincts seem to be that your DP is the right one and that guy sounds like he just has a really negative attitude to marriage.

Congratulations and have a fabulous day flowers

whereiseveryone Sat 30-Nov-13 08:57:28

No, not at all. I almost ran up the aisle!

I happened to see my XP not long after we became engaged and got a similar response. (He was divorced when we got together.) I told him that just because marriage didn't work for him it didn't mean it didn't work for everyone. I know a lot of happily married people.

He was a lying cheating twat anyway so probably didn't understand the contribution required of him anyway.

NearTheWindmill Sat 30-Nov-13 08:51:38

No, doubts at all. But I didn't meet a nasty old so and so as you have. 23.5 years in btw.

bragmatic Sat 30-Nov-13 08:51:03

Yeah, but I wasn't really the 'marrying kind'. We did it for visa purposes. I had no problem with the commitment thing, just the ceremony felt a bit surreal.

Anyway, 10 years and 3 kids later...

I got a bit nervous when the car for me turned up but that was because my then dp was having issues with his wedding car and the m25 had a big crash on meaning many guests were stuck in monstrous traffic. I didn't dare tell parents so was only one who knew at my end.

We got to the church fine. Drove about whilst the men managed to organise taxis /run into church. Best bit was coming back down aisle to 70 people stood at the back who had almost just arrived giving us an ovation.

None of it registered as 'bad' at the time, and now is funny in hindsight. It's the little things that make it. I remember crowds of cheering people not threat of no guests now.

Btw if church, I found the practice few days earlier far scarier!!!

Pagwatch Sat 30-Nov-13 08:28:51

No. Neither of us had any nerves and DH was only just 21.
Meeting him was like coming home. He is so kind and honest and funny and gorgeous. We have been married 24 years.
I never understand the nerves thing. I always think nerves are 'doubts' and if I had had any of those I wouldn't have got married.
I don't doubt other people have them and go on to have happy marriages but when people say 'oh yes, wedding nerves are totally normal' I genuinely don't understand that.

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