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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I still haven't moved out, do I take everything? Part 2

608 replies

FarOverTheRainbow · 27/11/2013 21:49

This is a follow on from the first thread I done in AIBU here's the link

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1867926-WIBU-to-move-out-and-take-everything

I can't thank everyone enough for all the help and support you've given me. It's been invaluable and you lovely people have helped get me out of a really dark place and are still doing so. When I read the start of my old thread and think about how I felt 8 weeks ago I never thought I'd be where I am now and even though I still have a long long way to go I wouldn't be half way here if it wasn't for the support here very soppy but so true

I hope I don't lose anyone moving to here

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springytickly · 27/11/2013 22:12

here! Wink

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HoratiaDrelincourt · 27/11/2013 22:24

We're sticking with you, Far.

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Hissy · 27/11/2013 22:41

Checking in.

You really have come so far. It's sad that you've had to, but you've got Mn on your side, you can't lose!

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DinkyFrinkbuster · 27/11/2013 22:41
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PigWhisperer · 27/11/2013 23:00

Just another one to say we are all right behind you love

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teenybash7 · 27/11/2013 23:05

Just read your last thread. Haven't got anything to say except I think you are amazingly strong. And all your regular helpers are brilliant - just what I hoped mumsnet was all about!
I hope you get your life back soon.

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ChasedByBees · 27/11/2013 23:06

Checking in Far Thanks

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Jux · 28/11/2013 00:00

Hey there Far! Waving vigorously so I can find you. Hope you sleep well tonight.

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43percentburnt · 28/11/2013 01:25

You are doing fab.

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Lambzig · 28/11/2013 08:12

I have been following your thread. You are doing amazingly well.

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hellsbellsmelons · 28/11/2013 10:16

Yep - still here as well.
You have come a long way and we are all behind you!

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Kyyria · 28/11/2013 10:40

Still here, supporting and waving pom poms!

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FarOverTheRainbow · 28/11/2013 11:24

Thank you Smile are we moving to this thread or finishing the other?

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perfectstorm · 28/11/2013 11:47

You're doing great. Keep on keeping on. Smile

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JiminyCricketsMiddleWicket · 28/11/2013 12:17

Re The smoke alarm.
You are quite rightly denying the FIL access to fix a fire alarm, ergo there is a potential for them to raise a case that you were unreasonable and endangered the welfare of your daughter, by not allowing them to address this safety issue.

They play dirty, just don't give them anything that they could potentially use against you.

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FarOverTheRainbow · 28/11/2013 12:30

That's exactly what I'm worried about Jimmy! They will use anything and everything they can

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JiminyCricketsMiddleWicket · 28/11/2013 13:11

Don't worry just go to B&Q, get the alarm and put the receipt somewhere safe.
Head the bastards off at the pass and nick their ammo Smile

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FarOverTheRainbow · 28/11/2013 13:31

Will that be enough to cover myself?

Any help with wording this message denying him access and telling him I'm not moving out on my eviction date?

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perfectstorm · 28/11/2013 13:41

I think asking for legal advice on that is a good idea, tbh. As previously mentioned, even well-intentioned laypeople aren't always best placed to offer advice and you need to ensure the messages are focused on dd's welfare as regards contact, and don't undermine the no contact request either. You've said all contact via solicitors so really you need to make that two way, I think.

I know I keep saying this, but please call Women's Aid again. Ask them for advice and the name of a good solicitor with experience in these situations.

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perfectstorm · 28/11/2013 13:42

(Not on the smoke alarm - buying your own is definitely enough I would think!)

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FarOverTheRainbow · 28/11/2013 13:46

It wouldn't be XPid be contacting it would be his dad.

Ill try phone WA again, I can never get hold of them during the day

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perfectstorm · 28/11/2013 14:03

I don't think you want to enable him to harass you via his family, which he sounds fully capable of. Them even more so! I'd leave it to solicitors alone now, really and truly.

Rights of Women offer a phone advice line for family law issues, maybe they can offer swifter advice for you?

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perfectstorm · 28/11/2013 14:06

Oh bugger, they're only there in the evenings as well - sorry.

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JiminyCricketsMiddleWicket · 28/11/2013 14:06

As your Dad has offered to pay for a solicitor, if you don't get any answer from WA today, please give Band Hatton & co. (Coventry) a call and ask about legal aid (if that still exists) or alternatively a without obligation or charge first appointment where you can establish the costs involved.

They're the best kick arse solicitors in this area (except for those in Birmingham) and are absolutely excellent.
It'll get any law firm in Warwick quivering in their boots

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FarOverTheRainbow · 28/11/2013 15:34

I would die for a glass of wine Hmm

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