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Should I be able to keep the house?

(39 Posts)
theendoftheendoftheend Fri 22-Nov-13 14:36:55

DP bought a house 6 years ago with his friends (100% mortgage, repayment only) when we found out I was expecting DC I arranged a 10 year loan for us from the housing association for a deposit for a mortgage, which secured us a mortgage on a very low % (repayments of £440 a month instead of £900 odd) and my parents paid all the fees so we could by his friends out.
When we split the first time I left him with the house, no question.
He treated it like a shit tip.
Now we are splitting for the final time I feel I want to stay in the house with the 3 DC and he should find alternative accommodation.
This is because
a) Its the DC's home
b) I know I can get it into a saleable condition, sell up (hopefully) in a few years and split the proceeds 50/50
c) Me and DC would need to rent a 3 bed place which would cost £700, an awful lot more then the mortgage
d) Its my only chance of ever getting a foot on the property ladder
AIBU?

squoosh Fri 22-Nov-13 16:48:33

Your proposal sounds entirely sensible, hang on to the house for a few more years and sell when there's a chance of a profit.

I hardly see how the ex has 'bankrolled' things, he has kept the place going with the assistance of the OP and her parents.

fifi669 Fri 22-Nov-13 17:07:58

I didn't say he had bankrolled it. Just to expect him to rent somewhere else and pay towards the mortgage as she says it could be her only chance to own property is wrong. OP has said this wouldn't be the case though.

If there's no history of violence on either part neither of you can force the other to move out. I think you'll both need legal advice if you can't agree.

theendoftheendoftheend Fri 22-Nov-13 17:20:59

He is violent Fifi he put his hands round my throat and through me onto the bed whilst scream in in my face to Sundays ago. It was a least the 3rd time his put his hands round my neck.
He's also slapped me square in the face, banged my head on the wall, and thrown me out the house.
If he touches me once more I will phone the police and seek an injunction.
However, I hope to avoid that.
(He just stormed in, trashed my chest of drawers by throwing the drawers across the room and stormed back out with my house key. This is because I put his clothes toothbrush and shaver in a bag by the backroom hoping he'd at least sleep in there if not stay somewhere else over night blush )

theendoftheendoftheend Fri 22-Nov-13 17:21:40

Sorry, loads of spelling mistakes in that! I'm a bit stressed!

Twinklestein Fri 22-Nov-13 17:26:06

I sincerely hope he does not, but if he goes for you again, you must go to the police & tell them about the previous times too. If you need an emergency injunction at any point, call the http://www.ncdv.org.uk/ & they can organise it for you (phone number is on their website). You may be able to get an occupation order to stay in the house.

Twinklestein Fri 22-Nov-13 17:26:31
maddening Fri 22-Nov-13 17:53:06

Mortgage paid while you lived as a couple would count as both your input - you paid other bills etc you were a couple- I mean how much he paid off equity before you moved in against how much you and your dparents put in.

ExcuseTypos Fri 22-Nov-13 18:40:03

I think you should phone woman's aid OP.

He's violent and you need to look after yourself and your children. You need proper advice.

0808 2000 247

fifi669 Fri 22-Nov-13 18:48:32

If he's violent then get it noted to protect yourself should things get difficult. I do think you need professional advice on this one.

theendoftheendoftheend Fri 22-Nov-13 19:00:22

I have spoken to women's aid, police and social services before so its all on record.
maddening no equity was paid off from his previous mortgage with his friends, as it was 100% interest only. When me and him bought it off him and his friends we got a repayment mortgage together. He thinks its his because he pre-owned it with his friends. We bought it for the same they'd paid for it so his friends walked away with nothing.
For the eighteen months we were apart and he was living here he had lodgers who paid more then the mortgage cost him each month. But obviously, I had no financial input at all during that time so not sure if that would count against me.
Like I say, I'm not sure that the pay off is going to be worth the house so I may walk away in the end. But at the same time, I don't want to be bullied any more.

ImperialBlether Fri 22-Nov-13 19:18:16

You know what? I'd just go and leave him to it. I'd ask a lawyer to get involved over a figure which you should be paid in recompense (and that should be based on today's value) - if he needs to remortgage to give you that, well, that's up to him.

My first concern would be about putting as much distance as I could between him and me.

theendoftheendoftheend Fri 22-Nov-13 20:04:56

imperial you're right. Its not worth it.

Beastofburden Fri 22-Nov-13 20:25:40

Safety first, for you and the children.

theendoftheendoftheend Fri 22-Nov-13 21:30:40

I know and if I fuss about the house it just gives another front for him to fight me on. Thanks for everyone's advice, I have an offer of somewhere to stay as a stop gap until we can get our own place. Time to move on!

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