Sorry, I've had a few glasses of wine now, but feel the need to share my evening...
I told H that it was over about 4 weeks ago now. He's still living here because he says he is so overwhelmed by the situation and has begged me not to 'chuck him out on the street'. He has found a house he is in the process of buying, but keeps saying that it is likely to fall through (I've seen the house and the surveyors report - there is no reason to think this is the case). I've said I want to spend Christmas with my family and our DCs, but I have arranged a day just before Christmas for all of us to visit a particularly good Santas Grotto and I have offered to have him and his Dad for dinner afterwards (assuming the house isn't sorted by then) so that they can have a bit of a Christmas Day with DCs before I go to see my family (we don't live near them).
Tonight I have had to listen to an evening of why I am so bad. Just to stress, I'm not having an affair (I was unfaithful to H about 12 years ago - before we got married- but I told him about this before we got married and I have been faithful since this), he is a very difficult man to live with (he suffers from stress and depression and - although I wouldn't have thought he had more than a 'bad temper', after reading through other threads on MN, I think he does have emotionally abusive tendencies (plenty of name calling and sudden mood changes, shouting and tantrums)). He admits all this but still feels I am being unreasonable for 'throwing away 20 years' and wants to know how I am going to manage without him (He does pull his weight with household chores, but he is a very hands off Dad so I have felt like a single mum since the kids were born).
Tonight I've been accused of plotting my escape, just using him to get kids and a house (at the moment I earn slightly more than he does, despite being part time!) and bitching about him on the internet (ok - got me there, but he said that before I wrote this!).
Damn it - I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I did need to do this - I was losing myself and no matter how much I tried to explain this he didn't understand.
And yet we still haven't told the kids and I am still play acting the good little wife. Gritting my teeth so hard I'll need dentures by the time he completes on the house :-(
Sorry again... Rant over...
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Relationships
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but...
Bigbird01 · 21/11/2013 22:37
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