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I have never posted on anything before so this is all very new to me, so please bear with me!
I have had a very toxic relationship with alcohol all my adult life and it's fair to say that it has caused untold amount of problems. I'm dry at the moment and hoping it will continue. One of the positive thing I'm experiencing is a return of my self respect and feeling in control. Long May it continue. Just removing that internal struggle with should I shouldn't I have a drink has stopped me feeling so in conflict and freed up space to think about other things that are far more important.... Such as should I eat cake or not....
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2003430-Staying-DRY Hope the title's ok?
Off to start a new thread now
I really struggle with replacement drinks at times I had a pash on Raspberry and Echinacea tea recently and Belvoir type drinks, but I do love coffee and hot chocolate!
Tipple of choice - I like water, fizzy water, tea, coffee. I like to meet friends over tea or posh coffee and I like eating out in Asian places where you drink green tea and don't miss wine. I agree that sweet things taste horrible.
guggenheim, sorry about work being so crap.
Anything special coming up on Friday night?
I'm 2 sober nights in but that is no achievement, I could always not drink half the week or more. It's the nights I would drink that were the bastards,
I am so lucky in my life. I am so lucky to have somehow got away without more damage.... although there has been enough in terms of lost love and lost opportunity
I haven't posted for a bit because I've struggled with a few things recently and have had a lapse. Not a bad one but I have had a few glasses on about 4 occasions. Previous to that I had been sober for 13 months. I'm not going to dwell on that because it would be pointless but I think I'm ready now to get back to being teetotal. The big test will be getting through friday night but I intend to use DRY and BB to help me to achieve this.
I think that lapses are part of long term sobriety and work has been so vile that I have struggled to cope in general. Onwards and upwards! Resignation has been accepted because I will not put up with vile situations anymore and that is thanks to my sobriety,when I was drinking I thought you just had to put up with crap.
Hope you are all well and sober.
Out of interest, what is everyone's tipple of choice?
I tend to go for slimline tonic with squeeze of lime juice if available, but otherwise just water. Fruity stuff all a bit sweet and childish tasting.
I once had some amazing drink in Italy last year that was non alcoholic but REALLY grown up tasting in quite a strong/sour way - had such a kick I had to take tiny sips. Kind of like a martini in that sense. But can't for the life of me remember what it was called.
Annoyingly NOT losing weight in my case. Appear to have (slightly) replaced alcohol with food which is mighty irritating. Still, keep reminding myself that binging on the odd packet of bagels is infinitely preferable to drinking myself into a stupor and never mind a few extra pounds. Hmmm.
But not feeling (and in my case being) sick every morning bloody brilliant
losing weight....not feeling sick every morning...up with the children (sometimes )
Agree mrssippie! Eyes a normal size rather than all puffy. Same with rings not feeling too tight. A huge amount to be grateful for......
What I really like, is looking in the mirror in the morning (not because I'm stunning or anything ) but just because I look 'ok'. My eyes look bright, my skin is amazing, and it just feels lovely!
Wonder how you are doing, Talking? So true what Sorcha and others say about taking it one day (hour?) at a time rather than trying to imagine a life without alcohol. I am 2 years in and still not sure I can cope with that concept!
And I totally identify with your horror at getting through all that wine. I was drinking a couple of bottles a night at the end. And that was just me - at home - not even going out. I had bottles stashed all round the house so my husband didn't know how much I was drinking. It ruled my life. Was utterly, utterly pathetic.
And my attempts to control my drinking failed every time. I think so many of us can identify with those vain attempts. Not drinking on weekdays, not drinking until kids in bed, not drinking spirits, hypnosis, dry Januarys. The list goes on - but so did the drinking.
When I think of the amount of time I spent (wasted) thinking about alcohol…. Either regretting it and resolving not to drink (morning until about 2pm) or having an inner debate about whether or not to buy booze on the way home from work - to wondering which shop to go to so as not to be seen as the woman always buying booze - to hiding the stuff around the house. And so it went on.
I have SO much more time now. To live. To think. To read books, be there and 'present' in my life and for my family. Really it is worth it. And total abstinence is a million times easier than desperately trying to drink 'normally'. Such a massive struggle and, ultimately, always fruitless IME.
Hope everyone well today.
Hello! I lost the thread and kept doing ridiculous things like going to work and forgetting to drop by!! . Good to see everyone again and welcome to that's I know exactly what you mean. I remember buying 24 bottles of wine for a housewarming party where only about 7 people turned up and being completely confused as to where they had all gone two days later life was awful then to be honest. Now, (and it's nearly 4 months!!!) I really do feel so much happier.
I've had a shitty couple of months one way and another but haven't really thought about drinking at all. It wouldn't have helped and to be honest, it would have almost certainly hindered my surgical recovery Of course, I still think about it. As you say random it's not a 'craving' as such, just a sort of memory creeping in or (for me) a kind of mini panic/anger about why aren't I drinking, if that makes sense.
I have been reasonably open with everyone that I had a problem but I say it in a matter of fact by-the-by way and my family and old friends knew anyway, others can take it or leave it, and snidey comments will be dealt with . So, onwards and u[wards for us all.
My only grump at the moment is that I've decided to drop out of the half marathon I was doing in a couple of weeks as my illness and suchlike (being terrified my tummy will explode again!!) put me back in my training and I'm only just getting back into running more than a couple of miles! I'm down for one in June (two days after my 50th!!) so hopefully will be good for that - and another perfect reason to still not be drinking then!
Hope everyone is good. Chins up
Hello everyone - can I join? I have been sober for 2 years thanks to AA. But this thread looks wonderfully useful and supportive. I don't crave a drink (do have the odd thought sometimes, but rarely and not 'craving'), but still struggle with how to respond when offered drinks. Want to reply in a way that doesn't announce that I have a 'problem'. Can't use the antibiotics excuse with people you see regularly. I tend to joke that I can't take it anymore and find alcohol doesn't agree with me now I am older. But do still feel like it can cause a bit of a downer in a group situation sometimes.
But that is a tiny issue compared to the joy of sobriety and not living with the shame, guilt and hangovers. Agree with ballroom above that I am enjoying the person emerging far more than the one I was for years before.
desserts obviously not the dry, sandy places!
Hi talking I can get what you're talking about the not every day. Some of us did drink every day, some not but one thing in common is the total lack of moderation once we did drink.
I personally have lost weight since stopping drinking. I wasn't a big eater when drinking and have rediscovered my
huge appetite and love of deserts now so it must have been all the empty calories I was consuming.
I'm the same as Sorcha and feel bloody marvellous now. Rarely think about drinking unless presented with a situation like my last post. Feel like I've been living in a fog for a load of years and starting to get to know me a bit better and without sounding overly dramatic I like this person an awful lot more
I don't think any of us would say it's been a decision we've regretted. Good luck and keep posting x
I have no desire to drink today as I am on a fast day of the 5:2. It's not the every day that gets me; it's the days that I do, I start too early, drink too late, and too fast the whole time I am drinking
Will have to think about other things to make things feel special.
I feel like I am on this constant oscillation between self denial and over doing it. The 5:2 diet was supposed to solve that by allowing reasonable amounts of things like buttered toast on some days.
But I am not sure I can have any "non-fast" days where booze is concerned
On MFP I have just added up about 3000 calories of booze since Friday. That is fucking insane. If I didn't drink maybe I wouldn't have to do any kind of diet ever again.
I have been hungry for huge swathes of my adult life (and younger) - for what? To drink thousands of empty calories instead?
Hi Talking - this is the right place for you. Most of us have been exactly where you are. My trigger was a Saturday when I drank 7 pints of strong beer and started again on Sunday. I had been anxious and worried about my drinking for years - it was increasing and I was very worried about the effect on my family and my work, not to mention my health and finances.. Like most alcoholics I have tried to 'cut down' numerous times, bargained with myself about not drinking alone/on weekdays/before 6 pm etc etc ad nauseam. None f it worked
Stopping drinking however HAS for now been amazing. Ir was hard at the beginning, but now honestly I rarely thing about alcohol. I am calmer, my life is happier adn all that dreadful anxiety ahs gone. I didn't look ahead at all at first. Just that hour, or sometimes 1/2 day into the future.. Don't think about things coming up that you imagine you NEED alcohol for. Just go one day (or hour at a time)
we are here. Post all you need . You CAN do this
have been lurking a bit on here but time to join now.
drinking. hm. bought 6 bottles of wine on Saturday thinking we were having people over. they had to cancel, illness in the family. It's tuesday morning and there is one bottle left. This is ridiculous and disgusting.
also while drinking / hungover have eaten everything in sight. (not helped by also having bought the food for all the people coming over!). Feeling tired and bloated now. dd2 has been ill, I have been up with her two nights running. need to put a stop to all this.
excuse my rambling on. Just wanted to come onto this thread and make a statement of intent
I've been in the alcohol section a few times with other people. Find it ok but it all looks very odd and alien to me now. Wouldn't dare venture going to the pub yet however.
Which leads to me an old friend wants to meet up in a few weeks and go for a drink. I haven't seen them in donkeys years and have already found myself thinking I can alternate drinks. Argh!! I'm worried if I'm sober I'm going to be quiet and weird and not think of things to say and it will be oh so awkward.
it is horrible isnt it.
I do find it hard being around alcohol and drinking people ...
Happy Valentines Day all xx
I just had a bit of a struggle. Went to the shop to get wonderful husband valentines things (he Gabe me a beautiful card and chocolates and I had forgotten..) Decided to get him some whiskey and had to wander through the alcohol section? It was really hard which I wasn't expecting! I did resist though and got myself some belvoir and green bottle drinks instead. Horrible!
160 days, yahoo!!!!!! Not long now until the 6 month goal.
thankyou AA! Couldn't of done it without my sponsor and friends
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