I've NC'd for this as feel nervous about this.
I've also written and deleted this post over and over again as I'm very upset and bothered by this but I'm not sure how to express that clearly and what advice I was looking for and at the back of my mind I know that this is peanuts in comparison to other situations one could be in.
I don't love my husband, I don't fancy him and I don't feel loved by him. He is awful at big conversations and has a tendency to go upstairs and hide under the duvet if things get too much for him so its difficult to talk to him about feelings and emotions.
I'm not sure if its because I'm at home with our 2 young DCs that I have had more time to dwell on this or whether I would feel the same if I weren't sleep-deprived, ill and having CBT for anxiety and was back working and being more independent.
I feel I have had to make so many changes to how I speak and act because of him; like talking in 'bullet points', getting to the point straight away,not 'umming' etc that I don't know where to start in talking about this with him. And I'm not sure what outcome I want if we did talk.
My ex H was similar in that I never felt really loved by him and through the CBT I know that my relationship with my Dad has made me feel, at times, worthless and unloved.
So I guess my question is- how do I know if it is me that is messed up and its not him or has being with him for the last 8 years made me ill and where do I go from here?
I'm sorry this is a bit long, but I have no one I can talk to about this in RL My CBT lady is very nice but I don't feel comfortable opening up too much.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is it me or is it him?
twentytoten · 07/11/2013 10:24
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