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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

The dating thread 65

999 replies

Queenofthedrivensnow · 03/11/2013 22:09

OP posts:

Report

Bessy5678 · 03/11/2013 22:15

Phew, I just went to comment on the other thread and I couldn't! Panic!!
Anyway, he's been texting tonight saying he's horny, I've replied saying I want my date first! So far no reply but I know he's read it. I really want to go on a grow up date, you know the ones where you spend an hour or so getting ready? An excuse to have your hair done and shave your legs!!! I think this one is a lost cause isn't it? Grrrr why is this so complicated!!

Stupidhead · 03/11/2013 22:21

Argh! I lost my message! Along the lines of 'dontcall' amazing night!!!

Queenofthedrivensnow · 03/11/2013 22:22

Put your foot down about the date but it doesn't look good :-(

OP posts:

powpow80 · 03/11/2013 22:25

Hi All,

Quiet weekend date wise for me. Was out Friday night but didn't meet anyone exciting. Next date is tuesday. Haven't been into him since date was arranged so interest is waning to be honest. Chatting to three other guys that I would like to meet. Fingers crossed.

Think I need a notepad and pen to try and keep track of the thread. Moves so fast. Sounds like a few folk had good dates over the weekend. That's great to hear.

Bessy, if you are looking for a casual fling this guy might suit that. If he's sending texts like that he is more than likely just after sex.

ManofMystery · 03/11/2013 22:25

Bessy, sounds like he knows what he wants but I think you deserve to be wined and dined and flirted with and it NOT end in sex. That is surely the fun of dating ie the build up.

I think that because he got sex he thinks that he will always get it. I think you need to hold it off for a while so just suggest going for a few drinks one eve this week and see what happens. And don't invite him back no matter. Actually leave the snog till the end too. It's a bit like going backwards but it should work. I think.

Hello boys-I thought women liked guys with confidence and who knew what they wanted?!

Bessy5678 · 03/11/2013 22:33

Deep breath and text, "wanna meet this week for a date" *closes eyes and hopes for the best ...................
Will keep you posted!

Stupidhead · 03/11/2013 22:39

everything crossed Bessie!
So tall manager has fooked off in a strop. He'd call me little chicken, little angel and bleurgh. Still on a tentative date with tall solicitor for sat but haven't spoke to him since last week so I'll cancel and now tall rock dj is after me, he makes me laugh.

When I call them tall I mean 2 x 6'4" and 1 x 6'6"!!!!

Bessy5678 · 03/11/2013 22:41

Crashed and burned - reply "are you getting serious?" NOOOOOOOOO I just want a date! Grrrrrr his profile says he wants long term relationship, I've been honest on mine and said casual dating rahhhhhhhh

powpow80 · 03/11/2013 22:43

Feck him so Bessy. Sure at least you know where you stand and don't have to be wondering. Fair play to you for asking though.

powpow80 · 03/11/2013 22:44

One more thing Bessy. A lot of people see casual dating/no commitment status as you are just looking for casual sex.

Stupidhead · 03/11/2013 22:51

He's a wanker Bessie. Move on x

ALittleStranger · 03/11/2013 22:55

What else can casual dating/no commitment mean apart from casual sex??

Bessy I'm only going to say this because you said you were inexperienced and not sure what you're doing. But if the first time you meet up with a stranger from OD is an overt booty call then you have to be prepared for there to be a 99% chance that it will go no where, not even FWB.

If you want casual sex and to be wined and dined it's easy enough, just sleep with them on the first date if you fancy them. But again, generally speaking the more you put yourself out there the greater the chance that things won't go anywhere. But it does at least sort the wheat from the chaff fairly quickly I guess.

Bessy5678 · 03/11/2013 22:56

Ok I've text 'GAME OVER'

I just want a date, sex would be nice too but yes I want dinner and drinks first :0)

Ahh I'm resigned to be on my own forever!!!!

ALittleStranger · 03/11/2013 22:59

Bessy this is easy, if you want a date, go on a date. Don't booty call someone. Getting dates is the easy part of OD. It's finding someone you want a relationship with that has kept this thread going for 65 chapters.

And one guy who was only after the readily available sex blowing you off does not equal alone for ever.

Someone needs to post the rules quick!

Stupidhead · 03/11/2013 22:59

Bessie. Put your status as 'wants a relationship'. Don't contact men first, like their picture if you like it but don't message them. You are the prize here, make them work ;)

Bessy5678 · 03/11/2013 23:01

I don't think I did fancy him, it's been a long it me and he offered it TBH, it's was a self esteem boost!

Text back from him "I don't normally do this kind of thing, sorry if I've hurt you" - and ignore and move on!!

Thanks for the advice, lesson learnt loud and clear - move on!

PaulineWhatsername · 03/11/2013 23:03

A new thread - how exciting

I had date 2 with Polo Man on Saturday but he'd somehow transformed into a conceited, know it all arse, so there'll be no date 3.

I maybe have the elusive 2nd date with Media Guy on Wednesday, a tortured soul but fanciable non the less. I'm thinking it'll be a kind of warm up date to get me in the mood for date with Hot Shot (very posh bloke) on Thursday. Any tips on dating posh blokes most welcome.

PaulineWhatsername · 03/11/2013 23:07

The Rules:

Develop a thick skin
Do not invest emotionally too soon
It's all BS until it actually happens
Trust your gut instinct
People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
If it's not fun, stop
Loo update is mandatory

powpow80 · 03/11/2013 23:07

Good idea to move on. It's hard at the start to get used to the whole dating thing. I made some schoolboy errors at the start myself. This thread will definitely help you wise up to all the different sorts online. Your twat radar will be finely honed in no time.

Stupidhead · 03/11/2013 23:07

Pauline! Posh blokes like a bit of rough! Haha! 'Small cock man' he was ridiculously posh. Just used to talk about rugby, cocaine and how he'll live off his inheritance when the folks die. So I'm no help!

Queenofthedrivensnow · 03/11/2013 23:17

Arf at small cock mAn! He he
I dated a posh man back along who became a Tory councillor or mp I forget. I would call him mr unreasonable requests in the bedroom.

OP posts:

Stupidhead · 03/11/2013 23:19

He kissed like a washing machine too Queen, awful.

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Bessy5678 · 03/11/2013 23:19

Thanks for the tips Pauline, I shall print these out and carry them with me always. Going to delete POF for now and maybe rejoin another time when I've thickened my skin :0)

Queenofthedrivensnow · 03/11/2013 23:25

Stupid - hurl.
Not that I am
Kissing anyone at all lately .....

OP posts:

ladygoingGaga · 03/11/2013 23:49

Date number 6/7 sort of lost count
Problem is I have proper feelings for him, shit, kind of scared as don't want to get hurt, not that anything is wrong, but it's that allowing yourself to have those emotions again

dont sounds like a successful date

bessy we all make mistakes! only important thing is that you learn and move on

queen mr unreasonable requests... Do tell more!

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