Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is this normal? Am I in the wrong here?

(107 Posts)
grapelovingweirdo Sun 03-Nov-13 18:59:33

Bit of background first, as I don't want to drip feed. I have been with my DP for four years and we have lived together for most of that time.

He's a lovely person with a lot of qualities and I am absolutely besotted with him. Sounds a bit sick inducing but I adore him and think that, with exception of what I'm about to say, that he could be my "one". smile

I have a couple of problems really. The first one is that he is still married. I found this out after a year and a half of being told he was divorced. Two and a half years later, despite lots of promises, this remains unchanged.

The second problem is sex. This is actually very hard to type as I'm quite a private person and I have only ever been with one other person and that was for a long time.

Is it normal that he always seems to be obsessed with it? Seriously, it's been less than 24 hours since we...you know, and all he has done is grab me and make comments saying how much he is looking forward to having a piece of me later.

He's been pressuring me to (I'm so sorry if this is tmi) do it in a certain way I am really not comfortable with and I have felt railroaded into promising him I will. I regret this.

Now I used to have a lot of issues around sex but being with my DP has hot rid of a lot of those as he is, on the whole, lovely and very caring.

I just called him up on grabbing my boob in front of his 13 year old daughter and he called me frigid.

Am I just pissing into the wind here?

On the plus side, he is loyal, very loving and caring, extremely generous and someone I would literally trust with my life.

Help!!! Sorry again for the tmi.

myroomisatip Mon 18-Nov-13 20:04:27

Dont wait for him to come back, just go home.

Finish it. He really is not a nice person, he sounds manipulative at the very least and probably abusive. The thing is with this type of person, they are so good at doing and saying all the right things so you believe they care for you, but it is all down to getting their own way. sad

akawisey Mon 18-Nov-13 20:20:07

I think you should just go home too. Stop trying to make him see things from your point of view - he won't because he's a nasty piece of work and once he realises you're seeing him differently I think he'll get nastier.

CPtart Mon 18-Nov-13 20:33:23

Ask yourself, if you want children in the future, is this the man you want as their father??
If not then get shut ASAP.

melanie58 Mon 18-Nov-13 20:42:37

How can you say you would trust him with your life when he has lied to you about being divorced? And he is coercing you into doing things which you are uncomfortable with. He sounds untrustworthy and bullying. And creepy.

wontletmesignin Mon 18-Nov-13 20:57:12

Wow. I really hope this thread has helped you make the decision to leave. Nobody deserves to be treat like that.

Please understand and see that the reason you are doubting the talks and the leaving is down to his manipulative and his controlling ways.

I hope you have left already. You deserve so much more than this.
You are 25...dont waste your life on this pathetic specimen!

NettleTea Mon 18-Nov-13 21:23:58

I really hope the 10 mins are up and he didnt come back

Noregrets78 Mon 18-Nov-13 21:54:43

don't forget to update us OP! I doubt he went back. It's a power trip.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now