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Edit: It actually does hurt slightly less

(515 Posts)
Alchemist Sat 02-Nov-13 17:50:28

DH left on Thursday. We have not been good for a while and he has decided that after nearly 20 years he wants out. He told me he hates me.

Our DCs 9 and 7 are reacting in different ways. The eldest has withdrawn to his room. The youngest has basically raged, wept and begged for me to let him come back and won't accept it wasn't me making him go.

I saw my GP yesterday and have some diazepam which is helping to take the edge of but I am in agony. I don't know what I am going to do. While this is vile I know the OW will soon be popping up and I don't know how I am going to manage as I am just putting one foot infont of the other now. He is denying it, of course, but I do know.

How can I keep helping the DCs if I can't sort myself.

Alchemist Fri 11-Jul-14 18:20:57

Just a quick one to say Hello and grin.

Life going very well for us atm and hope it is for you too thanks

TalkingintheDark Thu 12-Jun-14 10:11:57

Oh how lovely! smile and of course thanks fabulous news!

Alchemist Wed 11-Jun-14 03:44:32


FabULouse Tue 10-Jun-14 23:21:35

That's so cool grin

May your bush remain expertly tended for as long as you want

Minime85 Tue 10-Jun-14 23:15:31

So happy to read your positive update alchemist x

elQuintoConyo Tue 10-Jun-14 23:06:15


I have just read the entire thread - boy oh boy, what a journey.

I wish you all the best thanks <-- can never have too many flowers!

Alchemist Tue 10-Jun-14 14:43:09


I just wanted to come back and thank you all again for your kindness, support and help.

H and I on reasonableish terms although I couldn't help but take the micky of his outfit - midlife crisis covers it. The DC are just normal really, like staying with their father and then coming home. It's all become normal.

Gentleman Caller showed a different side so was shown the door.

What has changed is I have met someone and am a bit giddy grin.

He's a gardener who came to trim my bush(!) and we clicked. Early days but exceptionally lovely.

So, life is grand (apart from a DV issue with a friend). It seems unbelievable I am the person who wrote the OP but I am, just much happier. Take heart anyone going through this hell, you will get there.


captainmummy Wed 14-May-14 08:30:10

al - your post said 'lots of teqars' and I wondered for a sec whether that was a cross between tears and tequilas... grin
wellwhoknew - you could do worse than start your own thread, even just to get your thoughts down. lots of advice and support here.

Alchemist Tue 13-May-14 18:42:25

Well oh dear me. I'm sorry to read this, do you have a thread? Not to rubberneck but to offer a hand to hold. Thank you for your cheers thanks

I actually typed "your tears". Happily saw it as I think we have had quite enough of them, thank you.

WellWhoKnew Tue 13-May-14 12:02:52

Yes, liver very much damaged here today - like you needed a bit of a meltdown. I have finally told people in real life that DH left me coincidentally on a Thursday, a few weeks ago.

I want a dog!

Keep going love, I've followed your thread since the beginning and am quietly cheering you on.

Alchemist Tue 13-May-14 06:58:18

Have just turned the tv on and it is some American sitcom. First words I heard were "you can't get over heart-break without some liver damage"

Made me laugh grin

Alchemist Tue 13-May-14 06:52:22

Sorry I didn't reply but I was a little unwell yesterday blush. I think I did have a wee meltdown and lots of teqars etc but I think I needed it. While I was delicate on Monday I also felt so much lighter. However, not a drop will pass my lips until the weekend.

The Hound is a collie/spaniel cross and she is the most lovely ever smile.


captainmummy Mon 12-May-14 08:21:18

How you feeling Al? I think a good ole piss-up is quite therapeutic once in a while! I know I've done it more than once.

What sort of hound is Al-dog? I love dogs.

Minime85 Sun 11-May-14 23:33:41

I'm glad u have the hound. hope your head isn't too sore in the morning

The Hound will give you unconditional love--l know mine does x

Alchemist Sun 11-May-14 21:51:27

I nthink I am ok but then...

I love the drink but I don't think it loves me.

All over. That'x it. Think than't why I'm so sad.

Oh well, we all love The Hound and she is just heaven. She is kind x

you are anything but stupid honey. You are an unbelievably strong woman who is allowed a wobble occasionally smile

Alchemist Sun 11-May-14 21:21:27

What am stupid woman I am

Alchemist Sun 11-May-14 21:19:29

Oh feckedy feck, ashamed of the pissed and loving the Hound.

I am a sillyBilly and will now go to bed. Best place now <spinning>

I love my dog smile xxxx and the smell of the hound makes me melt.

My best to you xxxx

Alchemist Sun 11-May-14 21:12:45

just pissed but have ,y Hound. She is lovely and just the best xx

I know I will be ashamed. I apologise to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh xxx

Minime85 Sun 11-May-14 19:04:17

oh alchemist I hope you are OK. u need a nice brew

I think it hits us sometimes. even though we don't want them anymore its the loss of that family unit. I don't think I'll ever get over that 100%. him yes but not what he did to our little unit. take care thanks

HowGoodIsThat Sun 11-May-14 18:57:32

YOu aren't stupid. You do sound sad. You have every right to be sad. It isn't easy to look back on bad times with a clear view. Maybe no more wine tonight - a bath and some sleep instead?

Hang in there, m'dear.

Alchemist Sun 11-May-14 18:52:23

what a stupid mess I am

Alchemist Sun 11-May-14 18:51:42

I'm a bit stupid and sad. Oh I dpont want him but oww


Minime85 Sun 11-May-14 11:38:34

wow. sounds very therapeutic and a moment of clarity. I'm glad gentleman caller still working out and that he has helped you to feel that way. smile

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