This sounds so trivial written it down but it's really bothering me and I'd welcome suggestions on how to broach this with DH.
He announced yesterday some of the guys at work will grow beards for charity in December. He usually shaves every few days, and otherwise has a chin like Homer Simpson's that is grey minutes after a shave. When he has grown a beard in the past, it just comes out his face like iron filings and looks grubby.
Tbh, that's not really the point. I'm at a hugely low ebb right now, half way through maternity leave with 5mo DS2 ad 2.5yo DS1 at home most of the week. I am sick of domestic drudgery and while DH does his share of night waking and stuff round the house if I ask, I don't have the reserves to not be physically repulsed by him with a full on grubby spiky beard. I do otherwise fancy him and love it when he scrubs up but I'm concerned about spending a whole month risking that contempt that I know is so damaging. If I had more sleep, more life outside the home, more humour it would be fine but I just don't want him to do it.
He's had a tough time - he lost his mum just before DS2 was born and whilst steady, rather than moody, is still clearly coming to terms with the loss of his parents (his dad also died suddenly 2 years ago). I know if this was in AIBU I am definitely BU - what can I do to be more accepting? Or explain the situation without sounding like a completely irrational cow.
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I don't have the goodwill reserves to deal with DH growing a beard.
Twoandtwohalves · 30/10/2013 11:36
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