Firstly, I would like to clarify that my use of literally is intended as a hilarious joke.
OK - I'll try to keep this short, but drip-feed free:
I've been with my boyfriend for a year. Last month I found out he had been meeting up and sleeping with a 'good friend' of his in another city 4 or 5 times since we've been together. Including spending Christmas with her and lying to me that he was at home with family. I know this because she found out about me and called me. I had never even heard her name until a week before she called (I started a previous thread about this and everyone sensibly told me to LTB then).
I've found out since that he also cheated on his ex with this girl.
Even I am screaming LTB at myself, yet I haven't done it - he is begging forgiveness, rationalising why he did it ("he was afraid he was going to lose me and hiding from the pain" is one extraordinarily illogical example), saying he's a different person now it has all come out, saying he knows he wants me. And even though I don't really believe him, I'm still hanging in there and can't figure out why.
Well, it's partly my age - I'm mid thirties, but would still like to think that kids were a possibility for me. It's partly that I do love him. It's partly that I don't want to go through the whole break up thing again (I've had a significant bereavements and break ups for the last 5 years). It's a number of factors. Seriously though - if anyone else was writing this I would be infuriated that they were still in the relationship. What the hell is wrong with me?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
There are LITERALLY a bajillion red flags here - so why am I still hanging on?
kumamon · 29/10/2013 14:22
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