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is anyone interested in an alchohol-free / addiction thread?

(1000 Posts)
youretoastmildred Mon 28-Oct-13 12:30:55

My name is youretoastmildred, and I am an alcoholic.

I am 42 days alcohol free.
have been a problem drinker for a long time and have often convinced myself that moderate drinking will be fine. It never stays moderate.
In this 42 days there have been certain key people that I have not had to see. I have 2 events coming up with them that will be massive triggers and I am looking for support (and very very willing to offer what support I can to anyone else)

I have lurked on Brave Babes and it seems to be a thread of successfully moderate drinkers, and alcoholics who can't / don't actually stop. (The poster who started those threads by stopping completely isn't there: I also remember some 12 step nondrinkers from the early days who don't seem to be there any more. There are a lot of posts by people enumerating what they are having or will have and whether or not this is ok but I don't see much actual NOT DRINKING EVER which is what I need to do)

By contrast, the AA meeting that I attend, while it will always have a couple of people back after a relapse, is mostly packed with people with months and years sober.

Is anyone interested in an actual not-drinking or beating other addictions thread? I am NOT saying I am not interested in talking to those who relapse. I am saying that I DO want to talk to people who aim to stop drinking.

any takers?

fiddlemethis Wed 13-Nov-13 16:58:17

Hello everyone, hope we are all well. I am officially in double figures sober, wooooo! 10 days today smile This evening is shaping up to be very stressful, kids hungry and moaning, loads of work orders to package up and send off, a website that's in dire need of spending about a week on and clothes EVERYWHERE, wet, dry, somewhere in between. This is usually when I would reward myself....not tonight though, its hot chocolate instead for me smile

On a positive note when I gave up booze I joined the gym to give myself some healthy new habit and I'm really starting to notice a difference in my general health.
Not drinking rocks!!!!!!!!!!!

BrickorCleat Wed 13-Nov-13 17:20:23

mumin if I can help one person get to where I am, I'll be a very proud lady indeed.

I am very happy with my own company now and don't need to be out on the lash avoiding things.

I think I just learned to like myself more which means looki g after myself.

I remember one afternoon thinking 'if the children were dog tired right now, I would give them soup and a bath and put them to bed and sit with them til they fell asleep.'

I then thought ' I DEFINITELY would not tell them to man the fuck up, have a redbull and a Marlboro light and crack on'

I went straight home to do soup bed bath. grin

MrsSippie Wed 13-Nov-13 17:59:25

Argh. KNackered, stressed with awkward teenager, stoppy 7 year old and feel rubbish. Want to cry sad

HumOlive Wed 13-Nov-13 18:04:35

Am sitting with the kids drinking a cup of Earl Grey and feeling ok.
OH has his elder children over for dinner tonight which usually involves some bonding beers in front of the telly.
It usually involves me getting the younger kids to bed and sloping off to bed myself with some wine.
Tonight I may still slope off after a while but I'll be able to actually read, surf, focus on a tv programme as opposed to drinking myself into a semi coma and falling asleep.
Small steps.

HumOlive Wed 13-Nov-13 18:05:39

Mrs Sippie. I know. Not long till bedtime now.

BrokenEggshells Wed 13-Nov-13 18:50:27

How is your mum doing Weegie?

Not up to much chat tonight. The pain I had in my neck has spread down all one side of my back. Not good when you've a heavy baby that likes lifted a lot. Usually numb this pain with painkillers and a bottle of whisky ( my poor liver) but sticking to the diclofenac and paracetamol just.

Brick your posts always make me laugh. I'll be following your advice wth an early night and treat myself how I should. Have a good night all.

Sorcha1966 Wed 13-Nov-13 19:28:21

today is day 16. SIXTEEN, and I had to think about that. I realise I have thought about drinking a lot less in the last few days. Initially when I decided to stop I honestly thought about drinking every 5 seconds for days, even at times i would never previously have thought of it. Now I don't; most of today has passed without me thinking 'I don't drink' or " Yay I'm sober' or "I need wine" . i have thought all those things, but not continuously... ts a relief as I was finding the constant pre-occupation with alcohol exhausting....

fiddlemethis Wed 13-Nov-13 20:04:50

I know exactly how you mean Sorcha, I feel like I am out of the habit of automatically reaching for the wine. I know I will struggle on typical drinking type days, oddly enough me and my mother were talking about when it snows, the first thing I thought of was going to the pub, its what DH and I have always done. These are the times I will struggle.

When the long term sober amongst you stopped did you just carry on doing what you have always done but minus the alcohol or did you change your habits?

Hello all, day 2 here. I'm eating chocolate but it's better than drinking. I've never blacked out from eating chocolate...

HumOlive Wed 13-Nov-13 21:16:42

My youngest DS came into the bedroom to say goodnight to me and saw I had a glass of diet Coke on the bedside table and said "Oh Mummy, are you not having your wine?" I replied that I was trying to be a bit healthier and drink other things for a while instead.
His reply? "Oh good mummy! You do drink a bit too much wine (and beer) don't you?"
I have been deluded that they haven't noticed.
hmm

BrickorCleat Wed 13-Nov-13 23:02:03

fiddle to start with I hid away, avoided the drinking crowd, spent time nurturing myself with lovely food and films and walks. Weirdly, I totally lost my reading mojo, instead I researched how to look after my body and spirit and filled notebooks with self absorbed drivel. It really helped and I just needed a tactical withdrawal.

These days, I put on my bonnet and am much seen abroad in the company of good society [can we get a Jane Austen emoticon pls?].

I have culled some wankers [and a Martin Amis one too?] but mainly I just do the usual without the pub.

Though to be honest I really never got the pub thing, far rather have been near my bed with buckets of decent booze and cheese.

Hope everyone is peaceful and nearly asleep!

youretoastmildred Wed 13-Nov-13 23:34:43

Muminboots, thankyou for asking, both dds are well today for the first time in what feels like ages. Such a relief.
Saw Gravity tonight. Loved it.
Great inspiring stuff on here tonight. People feeling blue but handling it well. Grace under pressure is the coolest. You are all Sandra Bullock doing [spoilers deleted]

Goodnight x

muminboots Thu 14-Nov-13 05:56:49

Morning everyone! I only seem to getvtimectk post in the mornings, evenings have been full on with DCs this week sand I've basically been going to bed at the same time as them. Feel like I'm catching up on month's of sleep. Last night we all piled into my bed and Dd read us Harry potter - what bliss when your children can read to you!

Glad to hear you dds are better Mildred. I'd love to see gravity - looks amazing.

Sorcha - well done on making it through day 16! I am still at the stage of thinking about booze constantly and it's annoying, good to hear that it doesn't go on forever.

HumOlive - there was a bit in Harry potter last night where mr dursley has a brandy and my DD rolled her eyes and said "god, adults and alcohol". I too have been kidding myself that they don't notice but of course they notice when mummy is slurry aggressive and self absorbed (oh I sound lovely sad ) I don't want the DCs to have to see me like that again.

Brick - you made me laugh with your Jane Austen bonnet!

Have to get up now, 9 o'clock meeting today so cannot miss the bus. Hi to everyone else, hope you all had a sober, peaceful evening

muminboots Thu 14-Nov-13 05:58:50

Wow sorry for typos and stray apostrophes!!! Typing on phone I'll blame that..

MrsSippie Thu 14-Nov-13 10:20:59

Hello. I am in the 'blue' category. Don't know what it is - just the constant influx of terrible news from around the world and at home, the struggle at work trying to keep afloat and personally, we are so poor, despite both earning reasonable (ish) money. I seriously have not been a clothes shop for about 5 years! It's ridiculous. Not that I'm a 'clothes-y person but it would be nice to have something new!!

Anyway, enough moaning. I'm alive, I'm sober, I'm smoke free, and I have a job. Which is more than many many people have smile. What are we calling the new head??

Sorry to be a bit insular and selfish this morning, back at work and dealing with idiots grin

youretoastmildred Thu 14-Nov-13 10:28:29

Brick, I am reporting your post.
BECAUSE YES WE DEFINITELY NEED A JANE AUSTEN SMILEY!

It would be a cameo-style profile of a person in a bonnet, perhaps?

Sorry to hear about blue-ness MrsSippie. I feel your pain on the money stuff too.

Hi muminboots. hope you have a good meeting

have a good day all

youretoastmildred Thu 14-Nov-13 10:30:09

PS

I liked

DRY
GET REAL
KICK IT!

I don't like present participles ("-ing" words) or long floaty dreamy rambling titles. Or naff attempts to make things rhyme

One of the reasons I like "dry" (who suggested that? I forget, great idea) is that a dry sense of humour can be a great asset in times of trouble

MrsSippie Thu 14-Nov-13 10:33:41

I like DRY too - even MNHQ used that in their message on the BB board.

kotinka Thu 14-Nov-13 10:45:31

dry is great grin

Sorcha1966 Thu 14-Nov-13 10:51:25

I like DRY... (and KICK IT) ....

how about Kick it - be DRY

muminboots Thu 14-Nov-13 13:24:52

Another vote for dry here.

Sorry you're feeling blue MrsSippie sad Money worries have been the source of the major arguments in my marriage and really drag you down. I remember reading that drinking suppresses our feelings and emotions and when you stop drinking, everything you've been suppressing kind of bubbles up and comes to the surface, so we have to go through all those emotions.

I'm feeling a bit sad too, my eye is infected and looks like I've been in a bar brawl, and work is getting me down. BUT I've been for a run, tomorrow is weekend (for me at least) and I will not be drinking today, which makes 6 days.

HumOlive Thu 14-Nov-13 13:37:22

Another vote for DRY. Am sat at home with the heating on and it's still freezing. Wondering if I'm coming down with something.
Have been out and bought some relaxing herbal teas and some sparkling water and lemons.
Turned a blind eye to all the Christmas offers on booze strategically placed all other the place in Tesco.
Not counting days. Just counting hours, sometimes even minutes.
Playing the tape till the end and remembering extreme cravings will pass.
Afternoon everyone. smile

MrsSippie Thu 14-Nov-13 14:01:30

Three messages left! Who's going to start the new one??
Feeling a bit happier now - thank you everyone. I love the people I work with and I've just had a donation for our service so am feeling a bit glow-y grin

youretoastmildred Thu 14-Nov-13 14:03:28

I don't mind who starts it but I don't think it should be me because I started this one and I don't want to get into a dynamic where the same person always starts the thread and sets the tone and becomes some sort of de facto leader

kotinka Thu 14-Nov-13 14:07:47

it would be too much for one person, I've seen that happen on other threads. can someone post a link?

MNHQ EDIT:
Here is the link to the new thread as requested by Kotinka www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1911266-DRY

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