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To much alcohol

(12 Posts)
littlewind Fri 25-Oct-13 22:00:34

Can I ask people's opinion if I think my DH is drinking to much?
my DH has always been very secretive when he drinks so I'm not 100% what he drinks. But I see about 7 empty bottles of cider at 8% in the week and about another 7 at the weekend.
I can always tell he's been drinking by the look in his eye's. Which I think he shouldn't't look like after one or two ciders?
We've got a little ds and I don't think he should drink so much. And it's really not doing his health any favours.

cloudskitchen Fri 25-Oct-13 22:03:29

That seems a lot to me. The secretive attitude would be ringing alarm bells for me..

hillyhilly Fri 25-Oct-13 22:04:10

The secrecy implies its a big problem, what would happen if you asked him straight how much and when he is drinking?

littlewind Fri 25-Oct-13 22:09:47

If I ask him he'll just tell me he's only had one and say's there's no harm in just having one.

whydidthishappen Fri 25-Oct-13 22:45:50

Maybe. Does he seem to enjoy drinking or does he seemm depressed?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 26-Oct-13 05:58:08

The Drinkaware site has some guides on what are healthy and unhealthy drinking habits. However, agreeing with the PPs, that he's drinking in secret and then lying about the amount means he knows he's drinking too much.

14 bottles of cider... who buys it all?

littlewind Sun 27-Oct-13 09:13:08

I think he does it because he get's depressed.

I would have to say that your H does have an unhealthy dependency on alcohol. You're also finding bottles of alcohol. It all points to a big problem which is not of your making. You cannot fix it either.

Alcohol is a depressant and he may well be self medicating any depression with alcohol thus making that worse also.

The 3cs re alcoholism are as follows:-
You did not cause this
You cannot control this
You cannot cure this

I would be talking to Al-anon in your particular circumstances as they are helpful to family members of problem drinkers.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 27-Oct-13 09:19:26

If he's depressed he should talk to a doctor rather than drink alcohol which happens to be a depressant. I know this is difficult for you and you're avoiding the confrontation for obvious reasons but it's not helping to rehearse his excuses and add more of your own. He has a problem, it's affecting your relationship and, if he keeps hiding and you keep avoiding, you could literally waste years of your life.

Contact us

Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire

57B Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BB

Confidential Helpline 020 7403 0888

MaryZombie Sun 27-Oct-13 11:26:22

If he is lying it's a problem.

If he is depressed he needs treatment for depression, not alcohol (which makes it worse).

But (and this is important), you can't stop him by following him around, checking up on him and trying to control it.

There are some very good responses on this thread.

Val007 Sun 27-Oct-13 11:37:39

Maybe he is on drugs?...

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