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A dilemma

(54 Posts)
byebyemrpumpkinpie Thu 24-Oct-13 11:32:55

I have two friends, let's call them Ann and Barb. Ann is a closer friend than Barb, but I have known both since school. Ann has just had a year-long affair with Barb's husband of 10 years. Only I have been told, AFAIK (and he doesn't know that I know). Ann says it's now over (though tbh she still flirts outrageously with him IMHO), and is upset and misses him. She was the one who finished it, I think, as she and Barb are really close friends (thlhmm) and she felt bad. She says she has had a theoretical conversation with Barb in which Barb told her if her DH ever had an affair she wouldn't want to know. As I say, she knows Barb better than I do, so I have no basis to challenge this.

Anyway, this is clearly none of my business, so I have not interfered in any way, just provided a listening ear and strongly encouraged Ann to end the affair (which she did). The thing is, Barb wants to start trying for a baby with her DH. This fills me with horror - I don't want her sleepwalking into any awful situations while I stand by, knowing what her DH has been up to and is probably very capable of repeating. But I have to keep out of it, don't I? Or am I just a coward? I know it really isn't anything to do with me, but Barb is lovely. Really lovely.

WWYD?

meekenough Fri 25-Oct-13 13:39:50

update us OP.

hetty1980 Fri 25-Oct-13 13:50:23

Could you speak to Barb's husband and appeal to his better nature to get him to come clean? Barb could end up resenting you for telling her and you end up losing her as a friend. It's not for you to say it's for him to fess up.

Things like this have a habit of coming out eventually and she definitely needs to know the truth before she starts a family. Good luck!

mynewpassion Fri 25-Oct-13 15:54:15

A friend who is willing to commit the ultimate betrayal to another friend needs close watching. I would be wary of her around my partner.

mynewpassion Fri 25-Oct-13 15:54:25

A friend who is willing to commit the ultimate betrayal to another friend needs close watching. I would be wary of her around my partner.

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