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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Embarrasing Problem regarding new boyfriend...

79 replies

WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:07

OK, I know this will sound trolly, so... nice ham, pombears, biscuits, LTB, etc etc

Right. I am halfway through divorcing stbxh for being all EA and twatty. I have a new boyfriend :-D He is lovely, funny, clever and a great dancer.

Also. He is very experienced and skillful in bed. I know I've been married for yonks (I was with stbxh for 7 years), and I'm only young still, but due to my attitude towards various forms of non monogamy, I'm relatively experienced myself. This man KNOWS what he is doing. He has a reputation.

My issue is... he is quite large. I only had xh for the last three or so years, and things got a bit married sex, so maybe I'm just dead inside.

He made me BLEED. He's filthy too (which I love) but that means that he, erm, hurts various parts. He is entirely willing to do whatever I ask (and anyway even if he wanted anything else, he is more than welcome to go and do it to some other poor young lady or gentleman) I don't want to just stick to boring positions due to said amazingness, but I also would like to not get injured.

What can I do? Is there some kind of...method? Or something?...

I've shagged about 50 people. This is a new issue.

He is very lovely and doesn't want to hurt me, but he also seems to find it all quite funny

I AM NOT A TROLL.

OP posts:

Report

JoannaBaxterIsARudeFucker · 23/10/2013 23:09

he also seems to find it all quite funny

Then he isn't actually lovely, or skilful.

Really. A giant todger is lovely IMHO. But not if there's a clumsy oaf steering it.

WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:10

But... it is quite funny

He honestly is very lovely about it. He only started finding it funny when I was clearly doing so myself.

OP posts:

KellyHopter · 23/10/2013 23:11

What exactly do you want?

He hurts you and makes you bleed and finds it funny.

"What can I do? Is there some kind of...method?"

Yeah, stop having sex with him.

Or don't, up to you.

He is what he is though, entirely your choice whether to accept such nonsense.

SweetSkull · 23/10/2013 23:12

hummmmm

WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:14

Have you never had a sex injury? Sometimes...shock...people get them on purpose.

OP posts:

BouquetFanjo · 23/10/2013 23:15

Is this some kind of stealth boast?
Cos TBH, we're all going rather you than me love...

KellyHopter · 23/10/2013 23:16

Oh...is it purely a size issue then?

"He made me BLEED. He's filthy too (which I love) but that means that he, erm, hurts various parts."

that part gave me the impression it was also his repertoire^ which involved you being hurt.

If just size then...google? All the other info wasn't really necessary.

AnyFuckerAmongThePigeons · 23/10/2013 23:17

More lube?

WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:18

But... he is genuinely amazing. He makes me feel things I've not felt before. He is perfectly willing to stop, or do things differently, but I don't want to. I ASK him to do the things he does.

I could just do without the after effects.

I'm actually quite shocked at the reaction here...

OP posts:

KellyHopter · 23/10/2013 23:18

Do they?? Never!

[wide-eyed]

NoAddedSuga · 23/10/2013 23:19

Filthy?

Meaning he has a dirty knob? Boak

CharityFunDay · 23/10/2013 23:20

Forgive me for perhaps being crass, but how exactly has he made you bleed?

I mean, the vagina is quite an elasticated ... thing ... so I'm presuming you're a dwarf and he's a giant ... or ... what?

SweetSkull · 23/10/2013 23:22

It is a respectable mummy's website to discuss ironing tips and swap recipes.
We don't share anything about our sex lives a part from how to improve our BJ technique.

QuintessentialFucker · 23/10/2013 23:22

ScaryNutellaFucker · 23/10/2013 23:22

He is very lovely and doesn't want to hurt me, but he also seems to find it all quite funny

If he actually did care about you, he wouldn't find it funny. Where is the humour in hurting someone?

Teeb · 23/10/2013 23:24

I'm confused about what you want us to tell you to be honest. He is making you bleed and causing you physical pain, but it's all so great and you ask him to do it? I've got no issue with people who are in a consenting S&M relationship (or whatever label people want to put on it) but you haven't really framed your posts in that way.

If you've come on the relationship boards of mumsnet for people to go 'There there dear, some lube and paracetamol will make it all better' then I think you may have been mistaken.

GatoradeMeBitch · 23/10/2013 23:24

You both find it funny that he physically hurts you during sex? You sound made for each other.

I wish you may happy years in the bedroom and the A&E department.

If you don't want him to hurt you, tell him to slow down and be more careful, and to use lube if necessary. I'm sure you know best, but being well endowed and having slept around does not necessarily equate to being good at sex. Not if he thinks great sex involves going at you like a jackhammer...

neunundneunzigluftballons · 23/10/2013 23:26

Nice ham hmmmmmmmmm

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 23/10/2013 23:26

If sex is making you bleed, you need to see your GP.

WordsAreNoUseAtAll · 23/10/2013 23:27

I have no idea! He uses his fingers, maybe he scratches me, then it gets worse with the actual action. He's quite forceful too, and does all kinds of weird positions, and I've never had a vaginal birth... I honestly don't know.

The hurting of other areas is fairly obvious, but the vagina... I'm puzzled. Hence the asking.

Oh, I take quite a lot of medication too. (Lamotrigine, lithium, tranexamic acid, meclafenic acid, sometimes codeine, sometimes diazepam) Maybe that makes it happen?

OP posts:

SweetSeraphim · 23/10/2013 23:28

I think you're having a little laugh with us OP.

KellyHopter · 23/10/2013 23:30

Urgh, he sounds fucking inept.
Scratchy fingering and jackhammer style shagging is only excusable in the very inexperienced.

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bittapitta · 23/10/2013 23:33

Fingers and scratching? That doesn't sound funny.

But anyway, presuming you're serious, I had a partner who made me bleed through non-filthy sex, he just had a big cock. I think it was my cervix bleeding? Uncomfortable anyway. Find less "deep" positions. Make sure he thrusts less (!) and get him to go down on you instead. Worked for me!

Not sure why he finds it funny to make you bleed.

gigglestar · 23/10/2013 23:35

Methinks you protest too much op....you're coming across very troll-like and i'm not sharing any advice with you

neunundneunzigluftballons · 23/10/2013 23:36

I do not doubt you have not had a vaginal birth but have you a vagina? You have not stipulated and it is not clear from your OP.

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