I have known my husband for 8 years and been married for 3 years. He hasn't got a squeaky clean history with the law and has a couple of money related convictions. I knew this before we were married.
The year before we got married he was in court for a money related offence and was given community service. My parents were very angry with him as he was very secretive and they only found out once he had been to court. He sat down with them afterwards and explained everything and said that there was nothing else to tell.
3 months ago he was in court again and was actually sentenced for fraud. This came as a huge shock to everyone as again he kept it all to himself. He left me, my family and his to pick up the pieces. I was 7 months pregnant at the time. He has his own business which we then had to try and keep going which was particularly difficult as the staff we had walked out and left me to it.
Thanks to my family we have managed to keep going and my mum has been amazing. She was there when I had my baby and has been a real rock. Although she can't stand my husband now (not that she was keen on him in the first place) has never said outright that she wants me to leave him.
He is due out shortly which leaves me with having to make some big decisions. Of course he is trotting out the usual lines like, "this has changed me so much", "I didn't tell you what I was doing/going through (struggling to pay bills) as I wanted to protect you" etc etc.
He seems to forget though in an adult relationship you discuss theses problem and see what you can do together to fix it not go and defraud a heap of money.
He would make big decisions without me, one example spending £5000 on a car which we didn't really need. If I make a list of all the things he has lied to me about it far outweighs the list of good.
Now the hard part. I kind of understand the weird twisted way of saying he did it to keep everything afloat and not to worry me. I don't work so I'm not bringing in a wage. I am lucky in that my parents have supported my hobby which was hopefully going to be my business but it never really took off. We have a lovely house but a massive mortgage, again his own fault for not ever saying we can't afford it. This is where it started with struggling to pay it so rather than admit it he went down the wrong route.
He does most of the housework and we share the cooking, he helps on the weekends with my hobby when he can and he is a good dad. He would do anything for me or my kids.
I just don't know if he will actually have changed after this. My family hates him and would like me to leave him and not have anymore to do with him. I feel sad for my children, although if I didn't have kids the decision would be much easier.
I hope this isn't too vague but anyone who knows me will instantly recognise this and I don't fancy more 'gossip' going around where we live. There already has been far too much.
So am I a fool to continue or should I be brave and call it quits?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Am I a total fool?
HenryHugglemonster · 20/10/2013 17:55
This reply has been deleted
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.