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How often do men/women leave a relationship when there is no one else involved?

(29 Posts)
Upnotdown Sun 20-Oct-13 15:30:42

I'm just curious. My DMs relationship of 20 years is breaking down. He is an abusive arse. She has her moments (by her own admission). He is demonising her, he's cold, remote and something has 'shifted' that she can't put her finger on. Spends as much time as possible out of the house, sleeps on the sofa etc... I think there's someone else involved, she's not so sure.

But without going over their situation, of the proportion of LTR/marriages you know that have split, how many have involved an OM/OW (physically/emotionally/just a new friendship)?

My mum has always said to me 'Men don't leave'...I know that's a bit of a sexist remark, but is it true?

Upnotdown Sun 20-Oct-13 19:29:56

Good to see some exceptions smile

The big problem with my DMs relationship is that it's always been off kilter - they aren't very well suited but have known each other since they were little. They've always got on with it and soldiered through (he is very abusive, not physically until last month when he pushed his fist into her face) but all of a sudden, it's like he's just decided not to carry on and has offered the strangest excuses for wanting to end it. Previously, he's offered no excuses/reasons for any of his behaviour and has always chosen to stonewall.

This week he told her he'll be out by the end of November and wants half of all bills/mortgage paying in the meantime...

Lweji Sun 20-Oct-13 19:42:29

I left because of dv. No other person involved.

Then I was in a 11 month relationship and I broke it off. Nobody else either.

Lweji Sun 20-Oct-13 19:44:59

From what you say, she should be the one kicking him out.

Upnotdown Sun 20-Oct-13 19:53:55

Exactly, Lweji. She's always been too scared of finances (she's not living the life or anything - just scared of what the future holds for a singleton on a very small pension). She's thrown so many years at a shitty relationship, always saying she'd do something about it next week or after a loans paid or after Christmas. Terrible waste of life.

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