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How do I manage ex's behaviour?

(29 Posts)
Gretagumbo Sat 19-Oct-13 22:24:35

I ended the relationship due to man child syndrome & poor interaction with his son. We had been together 12 ish years and have a 19month old son.

I have tried to be civil as I want him to have a relationship with his son. I keep getting texts several times a week with the common themes of:
I have ruined his life
I am heartless
I used him to have a baby
I've left him with nothing
He is failing his course
He has no one to turn to
I've ruined his self esteem

I have answered to say that I won't reply to these texts but only to those about practical arrangements about our son.
I just feel really angry that he is creating a new reality about the reasons for the end of our relationship but I have resisted letting rip because I don't want to kick him whilst he is down and I want to maintain good links for sake of ds.
Just finding this trickle of poison a bit wearing sad

PAsSweetOrangeLurve Sun 20-Oct-13 09:30:53

I'd agree with Random. The cocklodger knows that he is king of the heap and expects everyone to acknowledge this. He becomes angry when people don't automatically recognise his greatness. He of course is brilliant at everything but doesn't need to do chores such as housework or childcare because such tasks are beneath him. His very presence in your household should be payment enough and quite frankly he is doing you a favour by staying with you because everyone knows that he could do so much better.

The man child is a passive aggressive manipulator who is perfectly capable of carrying out chores but likes to make out that he can't because he's a bloke and blokes don't do these things because of course you do it so much better. He expects everyone to run around after him organising his life because it's too hard, too complicated or too stressful for him to do it himself and anyway, you're better/more efficient at it than him.

Lweji Sun 20-Oct-13 09:40:10

Also a cocklodger is a lodger who pays with his cock. Basically, he offers nothing to the household except his presence and bed activities. He lives off you.

I see a man child more like someone who expects to be mothered. He may well be employed and play with the children, but that's where his contribution to the household ends. He is not capable of any house work, his interests are paramount and almost expects to be told off, rather than discuss issues.

BasilBabyEater Sun 20-Oct-13 12:02:04

And of course, you can get a combination of the 2 - a cocklodger and a man-child in one body.

LOL at this forensic analysis of the differences and similarities between cocklodgers and man-children.

It should be an essay title in PHSE, so that girls of the future recognise the symptoms.

"Compare and contrast the characteristics of the man-child versus the cocklodger, with reference to popular culture and media representation."

Gretagumbo Sun 20-Oct-13 14:55:01

For sure, given the symptoms, my specimen had elements of both.

Love the idea of taking this concept into the academic field. PHD in cocklodgerdom smile

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