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MY NEW BOYFRIEND'S EX WIFE WANTS HIM BACK

(106 Posts)
ANNETTE5355 Thu 17-Oct-13 19:32:50

I a guy a month ago and we still getting to know each other and now his ex wife who has been divorced from for 5 years (they have not been speaking much) wants him back,they have a 11 year old daughter together. They got divorced because she cheated on him and had another man's child. He told me on saturday and will be making his decision by the end of this week, he feels very bad for putting this on me and wants to do what is right for his daughter. I have been understanding and supportive up to now and listened, he has still been txting and ringing me everyday since she asked him.what do I do, how do I treat him, I have just been myself and not been any different and still laugh and joke and we able to talk about anything. He seems very confused.

Lweji Sun 20-Oct-13 13:07:35

Not sure what Vivacia would have considered helpful. confused

And the theory comments are weird at best. They don't sound sarcastic nor passive aggressive. Just provocatory, IMO.

And if you have better, more thoughtful advice why not go ahead and give it?

The OP has her own reasons for not returning. She may not have liked the answers here, she may have told him to feck off and has no more need for advice, or she may be on NM asking for more advice.
It's up to her and no need to tell off posters about something we know nothing about.

Vivacia Sun 20-Oct-13 13:16:10

BasilBaby I found your post really useful. I just don't think hinting (or outright saying) "you're abnormal and dysfunctional" is helpful. Especially as her behaviour seems pretty normal to me, we've all made mistakes because we've wanted to be loved or supportive or a good friend.

ScaryFucker it's not an either-or situation. It's not a case of
1) "Stand By Your Man And Be A Doormat" or
2) "IT'S SO OBVIOUS HE'S GOT A WIFE YOU STUPID COW, DUMP HIM AND GET SOME COUNSELLING BEFORE YOU GO BACK ON THE INTERNET" x20.

I agreed with the early advice of,

3) "he's not good enough for you mate, tell him you've made the decision for you".

Wellwobbly Sun 20-Oct-13 13:23:12
BasilBabyEater Sun 20-Oct-13 13:39:16

But the problem with leaving it at "this particular bloke isn't good enough for you" is that it doesn't address the problem of the next one, or the one after that...

Vivacia Sun 20-Oct-13 13:47:20

If it's a new way of thinking about relationships, I think it's a proportional and therefore kind response.

Lweji Sun 20-Oct-13 13:48:18

I think the advice for counselling is quite good, as who (who has good self esteem) really wants to feel they are one of the three bachelorettes in the Dating Game? Or worse, the Bachelor? confused

It doesn't mean "you're abnormal and dysfunctional" (V.'s words).

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