Internet dating? Does it actually work?

[hopefulordeluded]

Have joined a site as I'm just not meeting the people I want to locally. I have found a man who seems really nice, ticks all my boxes and is saying the right things. Obviously the next step is to talk more and eventually meet (we are not in the same bits of the country but i have made it clear i would move for the right man) to see how we get on.

am i deluding myself this could work? Is it even possible to find someone like this?

[prayerbook]

Yes it can work. My Internet date and I have been married for 5 and a half years. But there were some odd people too.

[KringleCandleLover]

Yes it can... Met my dh on an online dating site and have been together 9 years.

[Walkacrossthesand]

Well, it's obviously possible, because people have made successful relationships/marriages through OD, and maybe you've struck lucky - but keep your wits 100% about you, don't be so hopeful that you are crushed when he vanishes/turns out to be not quite what he seemed/etc - and certainly don't be sweet-talked into 'loaning' him money, no matter how convincing his story! Good luck - there's a perpetual dating thread on the board to share your highs and lows.

[OhWesternWind]

There are some very odd people, that's true, but there are everywhere. But I also found someone (on Match) who is absolutely wonderful and who makes me happier than I've been with anyone.

But don't get too hung up on someone you've not met yet. Most dates are perfectly pleasant but don't go anywhere and I think that basically it's a numbers game. Took me twenty or so dates to find this lovely man. There are some very good rules on the dating thread - ignore them at your peril

[PaulineWhatsername]

I'd say don't put all your eggs in one basket. Getting on great when you're messaging isn't the same as RL. I'd say meet them within a couple of weeks as the chances are there won't be that spark/chemistry when you actually meet.

Don't invest emotionally in someone you haven't met or you will get hurt. Don't get fixated on just one because then it hurts when that one turns out not to be the fantasy figure you'd built them up to be.

Get over to the Dating Thread - they will look after you.

[tillyo]

Yep it works been married for 4 years after meeting online. Did have some odd dates but nothing bad happened. X

[MsFanackerPants]

Had some weird dates, but most were fine. I met some interesting and nice men but no spark and then met DP. Been together for 4 years, engaged and baby is due in 5 weeks.

Best tips to meet fairly soon, don't get too invested in one person based on messages only, really and truly be yourself in your profile and that you are under no obligation to anybody except yourself.


I used the Guardian Soulmates as Guardian readers seemed most likely to be my type or have mutual interests. As it turns out DP and I have moved in the same arty/music circles for the be part of a decade without ever meeting.

[catfishnz]

Lots of success stories! I often hesitate to tell people I met my husband online. But we have been together 10 years now and have 3 kids. I also met some other nice men who I am still friends with. There are definitely some strange people and the liars and time wasters but I guess I looked at it as experience. And it makes you get out and about meeting people. I like the advice above about don't invest emotionally before you meet them and do it sooner rather than later.

[SourSweets]

I met mine at match.com and we've been married just over a year and have a 10 week old baby.

I did have a lot of crap dates before him, but then I did in real life too, hence turning to the Internet!

[MrsGeorgeMichael]

Married 8 years and 3 dc since :)

[GinAndIt]

Yes, it's possible. I met my dp online; we've been together for 2.5 years and marriage is on the cards . My brother also met his dp online and they are having a baby in January.

However... I dated on and off for a lonnnnnnng time before I met him. I didn't meet any weirdos, but I did meet a few disappointments, dullards and cads! Lots of nice interesting men too, just no clicks.

It's highly unlikely that this chap will turn out to be The One - don't get invested. Enjoy it for what it is atm, meeting someone new.

Stay safe, and have fun!

[Charotte31]

My best friend met her DH of 4 years on a dating site. They are a prefect match! They now have a beautiful DS and couldn't be happier! :)

[LividofLondon]

Whenever people ask if online dating "works" I think, define "works". For me it does work because it gives me the opportunity to meet men who are my type who I wouldn't get to meet otherwise. I don't have female friends up here to go on the prowl with, and I don't get to meet single men doing the activities I enjoy.

Now, whether the men I meet online turn out to be great relationships is another matter, but then my track record of good relationships with men I've met face to face normally hasn't been great. So, in my experience, although OD allows attached men and timewasters to behave badly with ease, once you hone your radar it's better than trying to meet someone IRL.

My tips would definitely be to meet someone really quickly rather than chat for ages, because the only way to gauge chemistry is face to face. I spent way too long emailing men who I didn't even meet because whilst their messages were lovely they sounded weird on the phone!

[Writerwannabe83]

I met my husband online

He was the 3rd date I had so definitely 3rd time lucky

[hopefulordeluded]

Its a fairly specialised site (not match etc) so I think that might help? Its not a common place, so far at least, for those wanting to just add notches to the bed post.

I am not sure when we will get to meet, but am definitely going to see what can be worked out :) As you say its easy to find someone who talks the talk..!
The guy I like so far says he is very shy, is a bit younger then me and I think I believe him.

Fingers crossed :) Will head over to the boards for a nosy :)