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I slept with an absolute arsehole this weekend - feel like shit now

(51 Posts)
muminthecity Wed 16-Oct-13 22:17:58

Don't know why I'm posting really, it's all done and dusted now. I was out with a friend Saturday night, we had a lot to drink and I met someone. He was very good looking and charming, and I was in a seize-the-day kind of mood, so I brought him home with me. I was under no illusions that he would be anything other than a ONS, but thought fuck it, I haven't had sex in bloody ages, I'm going to enjoy myself. And I did enjoy it, we both did. He left soon after and I thought that was it, gave him my number but didn't expect to ever see or hear from him again.

On Monday morning he phoned me just as I was getting ready for work. He said he thought he had left a card he needed from work at my house and asked me to look for it. I looked everywhere, whilst still on the phone, pulled furniture out etc, but it wasn't there. We had a brief chat then said goodbye.

A few hours later, while I was at work, I had a call from my friend who is currently staying with me; the same friend I was with when I met him. She said he had come to my house to look for the card himself! Friend assumed I had agreed for him to come over - I most definitely hadn't. After looking for it and realising it wasn't here, this man sat next to my friend ('uncomfortably close' was how she described it) and proceeded to chat her up - he asked for her number/e-mail (she said no) and asked her not to tell me. Friend was a bit scared and freaked out by this point and asked him to leave, which he did.

I am so utterly annoyed with myself for being so stupid and allowing this creep into my house. I want to phone him and tell him what a complete sleazy cunt he is, but I daren't, seeing as he knows where I live. I know there's nothing I can do about it now, I am just so bloody angry and embarrassed sad.

mrsmillsfanclub Wed 16-Oct-13 22:21:43

Think you should just be relieved it was only a one off. Imagine if you'd got into a relationship with him & then discovered what an arse he is.

mamalovesmojitos Wed 16-Oct-13 22:36:01

Exactly what mrsmills said! We've all met complete wankers, don't you dare feel embarrassed! You did nothing wrong, sex is normal and healthy. How were you to know how he'd turn out? Count your lucky stars you'll never see him again. Don't text him, just forget it. thanks Don't worry.

muminthecity Wed 16-Oct-13 22:36:32

That is true - I feel a bit better now, thank you! grin

helzapoppin2 Wed 16-Oct-13 22:47:20

We are all capable of falling for good looks and charm, don't feel bad about that! You were lucky to find out early that he can do unreasonable things, and what he did was unreasonable.
Put it behind you. You now know you wouldn't want to see him again.
Lucky escape if you ask me!

Enjoy the sex and ignore.

Annabelllll Wed 16-Oct-13 23:07:46

Dont worry - be happy smile

Forget all about that idiot.

muminthecity Wed 16-Oct-13 23:26:12

Thank you so much. I was expecting you all to tell me how stupid I'd been, and that I'd got what I deserved! Feel much better now, just going to try to forget all about him.

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout Thu 17-Oct-13 00:04:57

You had a few drinks and had a O.N.S. It's hardly the end of the world is it. Until I met my D.P my life was full of constant O.N.S. xxx

ONSs are great, the best bit being you don't need to worry about finding out if they're arses or not IRL. Unfortunately this one didn't know when to leave well enough alone and did intrude into RL, which has understandably soured the experience for you. Just shrug it off, he's gone now, and at least you got a shag! grin

Jan45 Thu 17-Oct-13 10:27:16

Problem with ONSs is you don't know if you've got a sane human being lol, no offence but bringing a stranger into your home is opening the floodgates for this kind of situation but I suppose being single (and drunk), safety measures go out the window.

At least he was not a deranged psychopath. Put this down to lesson learned and maybe be a bit more careful of who you bring home-not judging you at all, just think it's unsafe but no doubt there's thousands of women doing it every weekend.

Buglugs Thu 17-Oct-13 10:31:26

Been there, done that! Don't worry about it. cake

honey86 Thu 17-Oct-13 10:45:42

i had a ons once... he screwed me then told me im a 'sket' for letting him shag me blush i never had any after that, i went home feeling so worthless n dirty sad

perceptionreality Thu 17-Oct-13 10:49:52

Gosh, he tried to sneak into your house without you knowing? That is as out of order as him chatting up your friend imo!

perceptionreality Thu 17-Oct-13 10:50:53

shock honey86 - luckily not all men are misogynists.

cakeordeath1963 Thu 17-Oct-13 10:55:50

I slept with a complete arse last night so i can really empathise with the feeling like shit part! (I have a post on the online dating thread)

I think we should both just be glad we have seen them in their true colours, chalk it up to experience and move on that little bit wiser (hopefully)!

camaleon Thu 17-Oct-13 10:56:00

The most important rule of ONS which I hope I will find a way to communicate to my children: never EVER bring them home unless you know first where they live and how to properly identify them.

You may not be able to prevent something from happening but at least they know you can find them and report them. I would feel really vulnerable if someone I don't know, knows my address, name and phone number.

There are all kind of guys out there. You can't see if someone is an idiot. Don't give him much space in your head

I really wouldn't worry about it! You wanted sex, you used him for sex. You got what you wanted, and now he's of no use to you anymore. End of. Doesn't matter about his other attributes - or lack of them.

honey86 sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, you know.

TombOfMummyBeerest Thu 17-Oct-13 11:04:49

What everyone has said.

Ignoring him will take him down a peg, too.

What a prick.

cake

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout Thu 17-Oct-13 11:09:36

Honey 86. What a wanker he was. I bet he wasn't complaining at the time. You can't win sometimes in life if you do you're easy if you don't you're fridged.
On one of my O.N.S we D.T.D 3 times it was when I had my first (vaginal orgasm) I couldn't get enough then so I pounced on him 2 more times and he said you're a sex addict to which I replied you're not complaining are you. Sorry if that was T.M.I. XX

motherinferior Thu 17-Oct-13 11:10:50

Life is full of absolute arseholes, my lovely, you're not the first to shag one and you won't be the last. Commiserations.

muminthecity Thu 17-Oct-13 20:29:28

Thank you so much for making me feel better about myself. I'm sorry for those of you who have been in a similar position thanks.

olathelawyer05 Thu 17-Oct-13 21:51:23

OP, I don't understand what you're whinging about. You wanted a quick shag to with him... He wanted a quick shag with you... and then later your friend. OK, he failed with you friend, but will probably just move on.

What makes you think you're better than him? Why is 'his' sexuality offensive, yet yours is apparently innocent? Why the double standard? Is it simply because he's a man?

Spelt Thu 17-Oct-13 22:29:44

olathelawyer05 The OP isn't criticising him for his sexuality, but for being a bit creepy in looking round her place when she wasn't there.

SugarMouse1 Thu 17-Oct-13 23:01:34

Oh god, do be careful.

Ive done this ( though never slept around per se) and havé been called 'slut, bitch, whore, cougar' etc, etc, spat at, had my stuff vandalised by à group of colleagues à few years ago, just for talking to à man in à night club smoking area!

Society does not accept that women havé sexual freedom, Im afraid

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