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He was fucking lying...

(206 Posts)

Some users on here are going to say "I told you so" but I said I'd hold my hands up if I found out he was lying to me.

He cheated on me with my best friend. He looked me square in my face and told me afterwards it made him feel sick and he would cut all contact with her.

He's been telling her he loves her and he left me for her.

I am literally shaking with rage as I type this.

AnandaTimeIn Wed 16-Oct-13 15:48:43

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

You have been betrayed by the two people who should have your best interests at heart.

Time to move on, I'd say.

((hugs))

H2Ointolerant Wed 16-Oct-13 15:56:09

Ach you poor thing, what a pair of amoral wankers.

I think I remember your thread and won't say 'I told you so' at all, it was all very plausible, moment of madness etc etc.

You'll get such fantastic support on here, day and night, to help you through this horrible time. It's hard but this, this moment right now, is probably the worst bit. It will get better in time.

DuchessFanny Wed 16-Oct-13 15:59:33

I didn't read your other thread, but wanted to come on and say how sorry I am. What a pair of arseholes !!!!

I'm sure someone will come along with some great advice soon, but just wanted to show you support ..

H2Ointolerant Wed 16-Oct-13 16:01:35

I reckon there was a single white female scenario with your "friend" what with the intensity of the new friendship between you all. (Hope I'm remembering the right thread here.) There really are people like that out there and they truly, truly have deep and serious problems. Sailing off into the sunset together is not likely for them.

Vivacia Wed 16-Oct-13 16:06:07

I too remember your thread. How did you find out?

She told me...but everything she's said adds up. He's been arrested for getting into a fight with her ex (they both have).

According to her he's used her address as his bail address and she's his point of contact. Tells me everything.

If she's lying he can prove it when he gets out, but I really don't think she is to be honest. Lots of things add up now.

H2O - yes that was the one.

itsmeisntit Wed 16-Oct-13 16:10:43

If he can lie to your face so convincingly he is not the man you thought he was and you are better off without being married to a liar and a cheat.
Hold your head high you have done nothing wrong except trust 2 people who have now stabbed you in the back.

She wants nothing to do with him, he's been lying to her as well. A mutual friend was round when we were messaging and I've spoken to her. She's left his stuff outside her house.

I know I'm only going on what she's said, I'm going to hold all my anger off until I've spoken to him, but I think he was playing us off against each other.

I'm in shock I think...I feel numb and tingly and my ears are ringing.

cozietoesie Wed 16-Oct-13 16:16:03

I trust you're getting rid of her as a friend as well?

Pancakeflipper Wed 16-Oct-13 16:16:46

Oh Scarlett. What a ridiculous fool he is.

H2Ointolerant Wed 16-Oct-13 16:17:40

She's full of shit imo. He will move back in with her, mark my words.

She wants to pretend to you she is somehow blameless/wronged. But she hasn't put all his stuff outside at all or has done it for shock value or appearances. Could be wrong of course!

Imo you need to stop speaking to either of them about this - just your ex about contact with your DC, and that by email or text. All communication will just make a bad situation worse for you.

Yes, there's no going back there. I thought me and DH could work through this but not now. I could maybe live with a moment of madness, given his current emotional state, but he had every chance to be honest with me, I flat out asked him if anything was going on so I could get my head round it, so at least I knew where I stood. He stayed here Monday night, nothing happened between us but we talked a lot and he said she was poison and he was going to cut all ties.

It IS possible she's lying, but a few things are falling into place.

You're probably right H2O. We'll see. I just don't know who to trust or what to believe any more. I'm questioning everything everyone has EVER said to me now. Am I too trusting?

Vivacia Wed 16-Oct-13 16:23:09

I agree with H2O, I wouldn't trust her either. She's not your friend in this.

CackleCackle Wed 16-Oct-13 16:26:08

You may not know who to trust. But you know who not to trust - both of them are untrustworthy.

flowers

I don't trust her, but I know he's been lying about things. I'm going to let him have his say, but I don't trust either of them. I thought because he'd come clean about that one night that he was being straight with me. He honestly seemed heartbroken about what had happened. Is it really possible she's making all this up?

I guess I'll know once he's released. There'll be evidence of the bail address.

BeCool Wed 16-Oct-13 16:42:32

If she's kicked him out, surely he'll be back around to you with a bunch of more lies. I doubt you can believe a word he says.

I don't recall your earlier thread but I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I agree with Cackle both of them are untrustworthy. But at this point it sounds like he has the most to lose and will lie lie lie to you lots more if he thinks it will work.

"He honestly seemed heartbroken about what had happened." - be very careful not to confuse devastation for himself that he has been caught/kicked out/etc with heartbreak for hurting YOU!

H2Ointolerant Wed 16-Oct-13 16:44:34

Honestly, why let him have his say?

It is very likely to be a load of old bull. But how could you know either way? Does it matter really if things are over between you?

You might feel momentarily better as his story seems to ring true for that minute. But then all the details will swirl around and around in your head like some sort of twisted Miss Marple trying to make it all add up for months and years afterwards. Ignorance is bliss when it doesn't change the outcome one iota.

Mellowandfruitful Wed 16-Oct-13 16:48:08

Both are untrustworthy. Your H has slept with someone else and lied about it. Your 'best friend' has slept with your husband - what kind of best friend does that? There's no excuse. Bear in mind each will be telling you the story that puts them in the best light, but none of their stories will be the full truth if at all.

I don't think the bail address matters, tbh. You can do better than having either of these people in your life. Not worth it.

To be completely fair (and I'm not defending him), he came clean about sleeping with her. He told me pretty much straight away. He's lied since then about having contact with her.

But then, how do I know? I know there's no excuse, it's just the situation I was starting to get my head around and deal with is now a load of shit so I've got to start all over again.

My head is banging. I'm trying to eat something.

I feel like I'm going to pass out. Does shock do that to you?

Vivacia Wed 16-Oct-13 17:00:45

You need to eat. And breathe.

Feel a little better, have eaten something. Head is still banging though. I'm just sitting on the sofa for a bit. DD is playing a ukelele next to me....which is lovely but my head hurts.

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