Hi, long time lurker here, finally plucked up the courage to post!
Ok so there is so much to this sorry if its long trying not to drop feed.
Basically P was abused, physically and mentally by his step mother and thinking about it probably by his father also. I have now come to admit he is now mentally abusing me. I think it started when I was pregnant with dd, who is now 18 months, he didn't want me to keep her I simply couldn't get rid so we kept her this could have Been the trigger.
So after months of rows tears from me we split. He managed to talk me round, I came home the abuse stopped for a while but started again, this cycle has happened 3 times now with him always persuading me to come home and also my dm persuading me to give it another go.
So the last time it happened I agreed to relationship councelling, we have had a consultation, the councillor decided, yes we could do with councelling and we would hear from them to arrange a date to start. We haven't heard from them yet and again things were ok for a few days then went back to normal only this time he says sorry after he has shouted me down for whatever reason.
So what do you think?
The thing is I feel guilty, what he went through as a child must have been awful and although I know he makes me feel awful I can't help thinking its not his fault, end up feeling guilty so just accept what is happening.
I am finding it so hard to forgive and forget, I think he thinks 'we will just have councelling and that will sort us out' I'm not so sure. I also don't know how to support him, everything I do seems to be wrong
Can you forgive the person that abuses you? I don't think I love him anymore, I don't know if I will be able to love him again.
Then there's the house, we have joint mortgage a joint bank account, I only work 11 hours a week as I can't afford childcare, what will I do for money? where will I live? What do we do about the house?
It's all such a mess I don't know what to think anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy!
Thankyou so much If you have taken the time to read and reply to this.
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Will couples councilling sort out a mentally abusive relationship?
48 replies
Pompomfairy · 15/10/2013 19:12
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