Can people talk to me about this, what it felt like, and how they knew they had to start making decisions, what they did if it wasn't obtainable etc?
I've always been ambivalent about children. If I'm honest I still find the day-to-day prospect of having kids really unappealing. I'm quite selfish, I don't understand how parents tolerate the toil of, well parenting.
But lately, I'm feeling what I can only understand as a profound sadness that I don't have children. I don't want to smell strangers' babies or anything like that. But I want a little family. I want to conceive with someone I care about, I want the pregnancy, I want a little person who willl obviously be better behaved and more amusing etc than all those other kids I see around.
None of this is achievable though. I have a BF but he's definitely a BF, not a DP. In true male style he doesn't want to settle down for another couple of years. I don't think I feel profoundly enough towards him to settle down with him. I've just turned 30 so things aren't desperate. Yet. But I can see how they could become so pretty quickly. I think I'm just totally thrown. I never anticipated that I would actively want children one day, and now I'm fearful that I won't ever be in the circumstances where it's a good idea. Maybe I just feel like this because I don't have the right circumstances and if I had a DH etc I'd be little Ms condom?
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Relationships
Is this my biological clock clocking on?
Lionsroar · 14/10/2013 21:01
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