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So, so tired

(31 Posts)
candygs Wed 09-Oct-13 18:19:53

I am 65 years old, I live alone and am in good health, I have a dog and walk miles with her every day. My son and daughter-in-law live near by, they both work, I agreed to take care of my Grandson whenever they needed, when my DIL returned to work. Her folks also live near and the agreement was that we would share child care with them 50/50. My Grandson who is 20 months is gorgeous, I adore him and feel it is such a fab thing to be trusted to care for him but I am finding it so, so tiring. I have a car seat and have bought a buggy, I take him out to interesting places and for lunch etc. I am now having him for the whole time that my DIL works, my son and DIL bombard me with compliments on how happy he is with me, how well he sleeps, eats, talks etc, etc he is such a fab and easy little boy but I am absolutely exhausted. How do I say "what about DIL's parents" how do I say I am so tired.

candygs Fri 11-Oct-13 08:32:55

Thank you everyone! Well we had the chat last night and they were horrified and mortified, my son just said "OH Mum!" and my DIL was a bit teary, they were so sorry, I ended up reassuring them!! They said that we (my GS and I) seemed so happy and My DIL said on the few occasions my GS went to her parents he watched Cbeebies much of the time and was given rubbish to eat resulting in him being grouchy and hyper. They are going to look into a nursery, which they were already considering once he is 2, I really do want to have him and have our lovely time together, so I will now have him 2 days one week and 3 the next. Unlucky83 (thank you) you are right I do "do" something with him every day, the park, the zoo, feeding the ducks, taking him somewhere for lunch etc but just lately lifting him in and out of the car has left me almost in tears with tiredness. Yesterday it was so horribly windy with heavy rain that we stayed in all day and just played, it was lovely and he was just as happy. I have also done more than I needed to such as giving him supper, bathing him and having him ready in his pj's when Mum/Dad arrive to collect him. I am so pleased they were okay about it and that I can still play a part in his care, their love and concern for me was so obvious and so endearing.

silverangel Fri 11-Oct-13 08:58:55

I'm really plewased for you, well done for confronting it and hope you continue to enjoy your time with your family, who all sound lovely!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Oct-13 09:05:43

They do sound concerned and I'm glad you've all worked out a different timetable.

chebella Fri 11-Oct-13 09:08:03

Well done! I bet you had to really steel yourself to tell them!

Fwi, our children's' grandparents have never done more than the odd hour of childcare in five years so I am so glad you have been listened to and appreciated. You are a jem!

JoinYourPlayfellows Fri 11-Oct-13 09:36:28

"I will now have him 2 days one week and 3 the next."

No you won't, not if he's going to be in nursery the rest of the time.

You can do either 2 days every week or 3 days every week.

I'd go with 1 day personally. But make sure you don't end up doing 3.

I think their tears and concern were at least partly disingenuous.

How can it not have occurred to them that they were taking the piss expecting you to give up ALL your time to the tune of a full time job for no pay to look after their child?

You know that plenty of grandparents are very involved with their grandchildren and spend lots of time with them without being used as free childcare by their children?

unlucky83 Fri 11-Oct-13 12:05:37

Candygs - well done - it must seem a relief ...
Now you have said something it should be easier to say again if the 3 days is too much ...

and glad you think you might be doing too much!
I do think we are under more pressure now to 'entertain' than parents have every been...
I had an argument with my DM about the 'do something everyday' - I found it exhausting - especially as I had to decide what we were doing and find something she, DF and the DCs wanted to do - so if I suggested a walk in the fields to look at the cows (DD2 is cow mad) - DM would sulk!
I know when were children - DM didn't have a car - we had to entertain ourselves at home - without Cbeebies etc!
On the other hand - half term this week and my DDs have been in the since Sunday - youngest had D&V - just well enough to venture out today - had something planned but now the eldest has started with it - we are all bored mindless ...and can't even do things like baking ...
(really grateful for cBBC!)

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