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Bloody H looking at porn on pc

(159 Posts)
wotafarce Thu 03-Oct-13 20:30:54

Am so mad; he knows I don't approve. I know he uses it, he has done for years but he always makes sure the history is deleted.

Just found some that he's looked at today and it was she-male stuff FFS amongst 'normal' porn. Usually it's 'asian babes'.
Wtf is that all about?

He's very techy and there's nothing in the folders on the pc (that I can see). Nothing on the history or temp internet files either, yet this stuff is on the recently changed files of both his & MY profile (which is how I found it when looking for one of my docs).

I feel like printing the stuff and posting it to everyone who thinks he's a nice chap. Fatheaded Twat that he his.

HerdyHerdwick Fri 04-Oct-13 16:29:39

OP, it sounds like there are more issues in your relationship than the porn one which is where your focus is.
You sound angry with him, what else is going on apart from the porn? You've mentioned that he wanks to porn instead of doing jobs, I'm assuming you mean jobs around the house? So he's lazy? That does cause a lot of resentment on its own.
Do the two of you talk about your issues?
I understand that the porn is problematic for you but it's not just about the porn is it? Is the relationship worth saving?
(oh and btw tell him to get his own pc or device if he's going to watch porn on it - ignoring the rights and wrongs of porn use it's the best way to get a virus anyway).

wotafarce Fri 04-Oct-13 16:58:49

HerdyHerdwick - you are right, there's a raft of issues; most I cope with but the porn really, really makes me angry.
He is financially abusive, pays for everything except food but I have no say in how the finances are dealt with. House in his name, (he had it when we got together) insists we continue to live here even though I'd like to move.
He is lazy, won't do 'his' chores. I run the house but don't have much left over after food bought to spend.
House /holidays don't happen unless he approves. I've spent the last 20 yrs putting up with this 'cause I can't face 'Told you so'.

wotafarce Fri 04-Oct-13 17:07:47

Also, he has a hobby which he's totally absorbed in which I'm supposed to just tolerate - our whole life is dictated by this bloody hobby (which he took up after we married). It literally consumes his every waking hour.

Think that's it - sorry for the rant.

wotafarce Fri 04-Oct-13 17:09:59

Oh, and once he took a photo on his phone of some random woman's arse, cheeky fucker.

joblot Fri 04-Oct-13 17:27:42

It sounds as if you don't like him much. Which isn't that surprising

zatyaballerina Fri 04-Oct-13 17:35:00

I think you have bigger problems than his watching porn. When you have problem after problem with someone, it only takes one more small wrong to blow your fuse. It's not really the porn, it's the fact he doesn't share your values, doesn't respect you as you wish he would, is controlling, domineering and forces your life to revolve around him and his interests.

wotafarce Fri 04-Oct-13 18:21:37

joblot & zatyaballerina - you are both so right.

IslandMoose Fri 04-Oct-13 18:22:56

Leave him - it will be doing both of you a favour.

contortionist Fri 04-Oct-13 18:34:28

If he's making you miserable, you can leave him. You don't need to manufacture rows over porn to justify it.

comingalongnicely Fri 04-Oct-13 18:37:39

I don't think the porn is the issue & you know it.

You need to sort your attitudes to each other out & find out if you even have a relationship under all the animosity before you worry about what wanking material he chooses to use.

Good Luck anyway.

FoxyHarlow123 Fri 04-Oct-13 18:48:11

Wotafarce - Lol, good on you for the fuck off. I admire your spirit!

wotafarce Fri 04-Oct-13 19:12:28

Gee Thanks Foxy hmm

AnyFucker Fri 04-Oct-13 19:17:45

He's blamed you for his dodgy porn use ?

That is out of order.

AnyFucker Fri 04-Oct-13 19:20:12

wot who is going to say "I told you so" if you bail on this dickhead ?

and does it matter, really ?

they don't have to live with it

one life...yeah ? Is this how you want to live it ?

eurochick Fri 04-Oct-13 19:27:00

I don't understand the anger I see on here about this issue. It's just pictures/videos of bits and fucking. Not the antichrist. But as it is for you, and there seem to be some other issues, enjoy your confrontation. Your relationship really doesn't seem very healthy and pleasant for either of you. I think there is more at play here than just some internet porn.

wotafarce Fri 04-Oct-13 19:53:49

I have kids doing A levels so don't want the fall-out & as he's Mr Lovely Laid Back & I'm the disciplinarian, they'll choose to stay with him rather than me.

I guess in a few years they'll have gone to uni & so will I.

comingalongnicely Fri 04-Oct-13 22:44:10

Well, don't know about him, but you're not coming across as having a bundle of laughs. Can't honestly see why you're staying if you're that angry. Surely it'd be better all round if you went your own ways?

As a stop gap how about creating different passworded profiles for you all on the laptop - that way the kids, or you, won't see any sites he's visited.

LaQueenForADay Fri 04-Oct-13 23:06:00

Well, I'm pretty meh about porn, really. But, aside from that it sounds like you truly dislike your DH anyway OP, and this porn stuff is just one of many, many reasons for you to hang your hatred on.

LordElpuss Sat 05-Oct-13 05:52:06

How can any woman be "meh" about porn hmm

Vivacia Sat 05-Oct-13 07:22:33

How can any person be 'meh' about porn?

LordElpuss Sat 05-Oct-13 07:50:03

Fair point, Vivacia.

comingalongnicely Sat 05-Oct-13 08:11:56

Sorry, I'm 'meh' about porn. it's there to perform a function and it does...

wotafarce Sat 05-Oct-13 09:19:42

I wonder what would happen if there was no porn; would people explode because they had no outlet for their desire???

Hmmm, I wonder...

LordElpuss Sat 05-Oct-13 09:32:13

and what about the women (and men) who are there to "perform a function" - often against their free will?

And the negative influence it has on young people? Meh about that too?

LaQueenForADay Sat 05-Oct-13 09:38:05

I am completely meh about whether my DH watches porn or not. I actually have no idea, either way...but even so I am generally meh about it.

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