We've been having problems for the last few days, sorry to keep posting but I don't have anyone to talk to.
He moved out a couple of days ago, saying he needed space. He has a lot of anger issues and can be quite hard to live with. I know a lot of women say things like this, but he has VERY valid reasons to be angry. He had an abusive childhood and never really dealt with it. He doesn't abuse me (in my opinion, maybe borderline if he's having a bad patch), but he's suffered from some deep depressions which have been hard on the both of us. I have to, but I'm turn it in on myself, rather than out on everyone else. I'd like to point out, he's more than pointed out his behaviour is unacceptable and that is why he has left, even though he doesn't want to.
We started communicating by writing things down and I've just read the first thing he's written me. It says he thinks about killing himself as he thinks he's evil and can't pretend not to be anymore. It's "in his DNA" etc (his Dad is a vile, abusive, violent...NON-PERSON. To give you an idea he tipped a just boiled kettle into DH's bare lap when he was not even 2 years old because he wouldn't stop crying...that is one thing from an exhaustive list)
He wants me and DD to find someone who can make us happy as it's what we deserve and that's not him while he's like this (his words).
I just don't know what to do. Short term, I want to whisk him away from everything and tell him it'll all be OK, but that doesn't really solve anything. I've accepted the fact that we may not be able to resolve this between us, but I still really want him to sort out his problems as he loves our DD very much and will always be in her life. The thought of him suffering with these thoughts on his own for so long has broken my heart. He's not saying it to stop me from leaving...he left as he knows his behaviour is affecting us. That says to me he means it, and it's not mind games.
What can I do to help him? Practically if not emotionally? He's going away to stay with an old friend who lives by the sea for a few days for some head-space, I think it will be good for him, I just feel helpless and I love him so much...I just want to see him stable and happy, even if we can't be together.
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Relationships
DH has said he's feeling suicidal...I don't know what to do.
12 replies
ScarletLady02 · 03/10/2013 20:07
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