Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

You know when women's who have cheating husbands lose the plot and do something dramatic?

(152 Posts)
ITCouldBeWorse Mon 23-Sep-13 22:13:25

You know like burn all their clothes, or detail what has happened on FB?

And people say keep your dignity etc, do you actually judge the wronged women at all?

I cannot see his anyone could. My friend carved 'adulteress' on the bonnet of the car of OW and I have to admit I thought it dramatic and appropriate. Good on anyone who does feel like an ice queen, but I actually think it might be cathartic.

But to anyone in that position right now, my best wishes to you, as the song says 'you will survive'

Juliaparker25 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:06:36

Introduce a handful of pea sized gravel into the silencer of his car, through the exhaust pipe out let ......Its rattles like buggery and is almost impossible to find. Engines will come out before the exhaust gets a look

Lweji Mon 30-Sep-13 14:44:16

I don't get revenge, TBH.

I have damaging videos of ex, that I could post to his family on FB.
They show how nasty he was, including death threads.

I haven't bothered.

I just want a calm life. My revenge is to be happy.

I did put all his clothes in the trunk of his dad's car in bin bags, which he thought was revenge as they were crumpled (old T-shirts, mostly). But no, I just wanted to get rid of it and reclaim space at home.

Bumpotato Mon 30-Sep-13 14:01:48

Oh I also sold the stuff he left behind for much cheapness. I had about £100 cash which I put on a horse. It came in, 6-1, and no I didn't offer him half grin . He didn't ever ask for his stuff either.

Bumpotato Mon 30-Sep-13 13:53:05

My mum she's a loon put fish through the grill of her neighbour's car. They had committed the heinous crime of repeatedly parking in front of her house rather than their's.

My ex worked abroad when we split. He'd been having a superb time shagging around and when he was with me couldn't, ahem, perform thankfully due to excessive porn use. He wrote me a letter which was mistakenly delivered to (and opened by) a neighbour apologising for his "porn addiction".

I donated his vast porn collection, which I discovered hidden under a hatch in the floorboards, to the crew of a boat a friend worked on in the North Sea.

He was back for a few days and I moved out while he was staying at our shared property. I'd left the place spotless. I nipped back to pick some stuff up, and the loo was in a disgusting state. The pan was full of grim skidmarks. I cleaned it. With his toothbrush. He was really fussy about his teeth and boaked at the thought of someone even borrowing his toothbrush.

theunashamedow Mon 30-Sep-13 13:23:59

Thankyou voice of raisin! Agreed completely

theunashamedow Mon 30-Sep-13 13:22:27

Not you jayne - I was referring to some of the posters; one of whom can't stop posting insults at me whilst accusing me of attention seeking, and the ones about how I am rude and obviously a troll (and or a man: same one as commenting that "I f@@ked another womans husband. Is this anti-gay or is she just conusing herlsef. Not sure) whose only goading while calling me a c@@t... Anyway illustrates my points about the type of dehumunaising hatred directed at ow by some posters on mumsnet

VoiceofRaisin Mon 30-Sep-13 13:10:30

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves"

Revenge is a self destructive action no matter how provoked you are. I would equally judge a man taking revenge. Some of the nastiest murder cases come from just that - possessiveness/jealousy of a (ex)partner. This is so much not in the pubic interest that the law on murder/manslaughter has just been changed to ensure that jealousy is no defence against murder and cannot constitute provocation in law.

Couples split so often that society cannot possibly condone acts of revenge in those situations.

Who are you?
This thread and the bickering is the first I've heard of you.
I've replied because it's a thread on a talk board. That's what they're there for hmm

theunashamedow Mon 30-Sep-13 12:54:50

Once again, others keeping my comments at the top of the mumnet board.

Is damaging someone's car or clothes illegal if you're still married. Isn't everything you own marital belongings?

I'm lucky in that a) my mil would kill him first
B) I know my life without him with be 10000 times better without him than his would be without me
(I won't say the he won't cheat thing because I know most people on here probably felt that way too)

onefewernow Mon 30-Sep-13 08:15:48

Unashamed, I agree that relationships and falling in love are complex. But lying and sneaking around is not.

LittlePeaPod Mon 30-Sep-13 08:10:50

theunashamedow at what point have people on this thread advocated violence against women. I haven't seen anyone saying "ohh go round and give her a real good beating"! You have got issues. Well done, you fucked someone else's husband and now he lives with you. Good on you. Personally I think that makes you the worst kind of women. You come on these threads pretending to be defending women when by your own admission your actions have caused havoc and caused emotionally destructive pain on another women. give it a rest. You are clearly here to goad other MNs. I have seen some of your posts and personally I think you are full of shit. You say one thing on one post and then contradict yourself on another.

theunashamedow Mon 30-Sep-13 07:53:17

As noted I will be posting comments on threads that dehumanise ow especially like this one that advocates violence against women - I am against violence against women and that's any woman, anywhere, anytime, for any reason. How about you?
There are plenty of threads regarding affairs from all angles and parties on MN that speak to the complex and difficult issues and feelings involved wuthout the kind of anti-female hate speech (the misogynistic "c" word for example) on this thread (and which you won't see me post on).
But the kind of hatred and violence advocated on this thread needs to be challenged.
Calling me names won't put me off.

LittlePeaPod Sun 29-Sep-13 09:56:51


also, I know this one will get deleted but you really do sound like a total unmitigated cunt

no unashamed that's your intention and I was just being an idiot to give you the attention you so desperately crave

LittlePeaPod Sun 29-Sep-13 09:17:20

Op honestly ignore her. Most people on other threads are ignoring not taking her seriously..

ITCouldBeWorse Sun 29-Sep-13 08:54:00

I would point out that my op was about something dramatic, not violent.

I think a scratched car, in the face of a family and marriage destroyed by casual, selfish sex is a bit different.

theunashamedow Sat 28-Sep-13 16:12:53

heart: is it your intention to take an OPs thread and make it about me??? but if, yes, so still around and will be posting on all vindictaive posts especailly those promoting violence against "ow" as justified.
as an earlier poster pointed out, its the logic of "honor" killings and DV perpertrators: "I am angry, that person is my chattel, I dont agree with your moral choices, so my violence is justified"
(cant help but chuckle at the "lego revenge" though...)

wow, unashamed is still here attention-whoring!

YoniMatopoeia Sat 28-Sep-13 09:18:35

An workmate from years ago found her oh was cheating. (no kids). She dampened all the carpets in his car and sprinkles mustard and cress seeds.

theunashamedow Sat 28-Sep-13 08:40:19

All those who have been supportive, can you post on the "my ex is harrassing me ..." Thread, that its fine for him to do that because he's upset and angry about the breakup. (If you are sure that's your opinion...)

onefewernow Sat 28-Sep-13 08:30:20

Mossman, you are great!

Molly333 Sat 28-Sep-13 07:59:46

It's so hard not to lose it as in my case I was left with v young children him for another woman after being arrested for domestic violence yet he lied to everyone he cd find and said it was me , the lies r normal for him!

I cried and cried and one Rainey nite had had enough so I searched all his paperwork ( he hadn't moved his stuff out just him and kept walking in the house) kept all pension papers nat ins tax etc , then I left them in dissarry and packed everything he owned in bin bags out in the rain ! The most powerful thing being that he was OCD and would hate that ! He has now remarried ( another fool) never sees his children has an added criminal record since and has no job ! I hv two amazing children am at university and bought the house off him ! He lost

BMW6 Fri 27-Sep-13 20:02:33

I think the hiding the fish thing happens a lot BECAUSE it is so well known and so easy to do!

Not that I've ever done it..........hmm

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now