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You know when women's who have cheating husbands lose the plot and do something dramatic?

(152 Posts)
ITCouldBeWorse Mon 23-Sep-13 22:13:25

You know like burn all their clothes, or detail what has happened on FB?

And people say keep your dignity etc, do you actually judge the wronged women at all?

I cannot see his anyone could. My friend carved 'adulteress' on the bonnet of the car of OW and I have to admit I thought it dramatic and appropriate. Good on anyone who does feel like an ice queen, but I actually think it might be cathartic.

But to anyone in that position right now, my best wishes to you, as the song says 'you will survive'

ZZZenagain Mon 23-Sep-13 22:16:49

I would think it is unwise to overstep the boundaries fixed by law. I wouldn't recommend damaging someone else's property for that reason. I can understand anger, frustration and generally strong emotion but you have to be sensible about how far you go if there is a chance of being caught. I would say that is common sense.

GetStuffezd Mon 23-Sep-13 22:19:35

I would think it is unwise to overstep the boundaries fixed by law.
Yes, this. (There are plenty of devious revenge schemes that don't break the law.)
Plus, IMO, she should have carved shit into the car of her cheating turd of a husband, not the OW.

CharlotteCollinsismovingon Mon 23-Sep-13 22:20:34

I think it would be healthier if she'd saved her wrath for that scum of a cheating partner, rather than let it be deflected onto the OW. I think that's a missed opportunity to direct anger in the right direction, iyswim.

CharlotteCollinsismovingon Mon 23-Sep-13 22:21:15

grin X-post!

arsenaltilidie Mon 23-Sep-13 22:21:38

As long as it's within reason, who cares!
It will always be a funny anecdote in the future.

ITCouldBeWorse Mon 23-Sep-13 22:24:39

The ow was her best friend, so it seemed pretty just to me!

I would not dream that damaging property is normally ok, but some people are in so much pain over betrayal I can only think yeah, he/she deserved that, not 'how undignified'

I like the sound of legal revenge though!

Yougotbale Mon 23-Sep-13 22:25:32

I had a mate who was cheated on. My mate ended up hacking the DP to death with an axe and hiding the body.

GetStuffezd Mon 23-Sep-13 22:26:04

My friend swears by taking a shit in a jiffy bag and leaving it in an opportune location....

HangingGardenofBabbysBum Mon 23-Sep-13 22:27:00

There's also the issue of raving and frothing in so undignified a fashion as to make people wonder less why one's OH would stray.

Plus, it frightens and further unsettles any children.

Short-term catharsis, long term embarrassment.

Unless if course you prefer to play out your domestic dramas in public and thus provide free entertainment.

CookieDoughKid Mon 23-Sep-13 22:28:52

No, I don't judge. I'd applaud. So long its not actually harming another individual physically!!

BOF Mon 23-Sep-13 22:29:35

And what happened to your friend, YouGotBale?

Yougotbale Mon 23-Sep-13 22:31:01

She now has a new lovely new lesbian partner in prison

ITCouldBeWorse Mon 23-Sep-13 22:31:14

Am assuming that is a joke!

FunnyRunner Mon 23-Sep-13 22:31:25

Can totally understand the temptation. A friend chopped her cheating ex's clothes to pieces. He phoned the police and she was interviewed and had to blag her way through confused Luckily for her they believed her version ('he was mad enough to do it to his own clothes just to implicate me!')

He was a shithead but I did actually feel a bit sorry for him over that.

meditrina Mon 23-Sep-13 22:33:25

If a cuckolded husband went out and decked the OM, it would still be breaking the law, but there wouldn't be the same social disapprobation that comes with a woman acting on vengeful impulses. Yes, it can bring a whole pile of further trouble, depending on what you do. But I don't see why cuckolded women should be straight jacketed into a different expectation of 'dignity' than the tolerance extended to men.

Yougotbale Mon 23-Sep-13 22:41:21

I think a woman decking a woman would be seen the same. It's when it's mixed sexes fighting that's more taboo

AllabouttheE Mon 23-Sep-13 22:49:02

I defaced his newly renewed passport. Most satisfying. As for OW she is such an ugly old hag, no justice need be metered out. Plus she got the wanker so she loses all round.

Violence and/or criminal damage tends to make sensible people think that you must have been an awful partner to live with, which is why the other person had an affair. It's quite likely to be true, as well - someone who feels justified in physically attacking others or destroying their property to punish them is usually someone who is selfish, possessive, unreasonable and controlling.

fuzzywuzzy Mon 23-Sep-13 23:02:26

Presumably it's cathartic for the wronged party.

I still find the revenge of Lady Graham-Moon very funny, she poured gloss paint on her husbands sports car, cut the sleeves off his saville row suits & left his vintage wine collection on the neighbours doorsteps.

She appeared on Oprah I believe.

Fair enough, but it's surely no more than an innocent mistake brought on by grief to wash all his clothes on a 90 degrees fast spin setting...

Spidermama Mon 23-Sep-13 23:09:52

I think its only briefly cathartic, in the way that fighting is cathartic at the time. Or shouting at someone.
Then, for the rest of your life you have to live with the consequences of being a twat who lost control and did a despicable thing. And why did you do it? Oh yes, because someone else did a despicable thing to you. Doh!

TVTonight Mon 23-Sep-13 23:36:30

You know Adulteress is so grown up, a Jilly Cooper character would write that- but if she had written the more prosaic "SLAG" I bet the OW would have called the police.

nopanicandverylittleanxiety Mon 23-Sep-13 23:43:32

As long as it wasn't physical harm I wouldn't judge.
I threw xh's mobile phone out the bathroom window minutes after finding out what he had been up to. It wasn't particularly done in anger. He kept lying so made a grab for it, but he was physically trying to get it back off me. So I threw it out of a window?

I'm not proud of it but don't regret it at all either! I was just shocked.

zippey Mon 23-Sep-13 23:55:32

Im not sure if I agree with the edict that as long as no physical harm us induced then everything is rosy. Is it not often agreed that abuse is abuse, whether physical, emotional, to self or property.

Naa you're only harming yourself, its better to walk away with dignity. Harming someone or their property does not take away the pain.

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