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Im really angry with my DP

(72 Posts)
AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 12:34:26

On saturday night me, my DP and our 2 year DD old went to our friends for dinner and drinks, we planned to stay overnight so we can drive home in the morning, they have 2 DDs and we always have a good night when we see them!

This saturday after the girls were in bed and we were sitting at the kitchen table, we ran out of booze! There was a beer festival down the road so the husband offered to go get some more, he asked his OH and my OH but they couldnt be bothered so i said id go! So off we went! We were about 20 mins. We came back to them both topless at the kitchen table, she was covered with a cushion and apparently they were playing strip poker, i kicked off a bit and said well why would u do that?! If you wanted to play why wait until your alone! I dont think they were up to anything but i think its totally inappropriate! I wouldn't play anyway by the way but thats not the point.

Her OH didnt make a fuss at all! So i just sort of carried on the night, i forgot about it until this morning and now im really angry! How disrespectful of my feelings and how could he think that was ok!

Im sure they were just having a laugh but if that happens when im bloody there what happens when he goes out without me!!

Sorry its long, just needed to rant!! Hes at work so im stewing and thinking off what to say, how would you feel in my shoes?

LaRegina Tue 24-Sep-13 09:23:31

"I havnt mentioned this yet to you but i did to my OH first thong sunday morning"...

Just have to say that has to be my favourite (and most thread-appropriate typo ever on MN! grin

VitoCorleone Mon 23-Sep-13 21:09:08

Id have slapped the shit out of her and him.

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 23-Sep-13 20:49:37

The swinging scenario crossed my mind as well, but again, surely they would wait until the four of you were together.

It doesn't really set up a swinging scenario very well if one of the potential participants walks in on her DH and another woman already involved in something (okay I know they weren't doing anything) before she's even had a chance to think about the idea. Even if they are really creepy swinging types who like to worm their way in with fuzzy, alcohol-fuelled and heat-of-the-moment consent rather than open and honest consent, that's not a good way to go about it.

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 23-Sep-13 20:46:45

Seriously?! WTF? I would be livid and very upset if my DP had done this - I have a lot of respect and trust for him, we have lived in separate countries, I'm normally on the more laidback end of the scale on threads starting "Would you be happy if your DH..." (just to illustrate) BUT this is just totally inappropriate and weird IMO.

You know, if he wanted you to believe he didn't fancy her then of course he'd say he didn't find her attractive. Just saying. You know your DP, and if you are sure there was no intention there then I'm not going to overrule that, but it sounds a bit fishy to me that he's always saying how unattractive she is and then suddenly, as soon as they're alone, OOPS WE GOT NAKED, what a coincidence hmm hmm

I get what you're saying about being young and wanting to continue that lifestyle etc, but from what I remember of my period of doing that, there was only one motivation for playing strip poker types of games. Okay, not everybody had to have the motivation to join in, but someone in the room had it.

If there was to be even a slightly redeeming feature then why on earth didn't they wait until you got back with the beer and say "Oh, we were thinking of playing strip poker, do you want to play?"

happyhev Mon 23-Sep-13 20:35:24

Are you sure the three of them didn't set it up together?

Cosydressinggown Mon 23-Sep-13 20:04:37

Oh I really think she sounds like an attention-seeking dumbass. Your DH should have stopped it but men are rubbish at that kind of thing.

She must be shit at poker to be half naked in 20 minutes though.

I don't think I'd socialise with them again - they sound like wallies - and I think I'd be having words with DH about not playing strip poker with female friends - silly ass.

Hissy Mon 23-Sep-13 18:39:03

I think they were trying to set up a swinging thing, which is why the OH wasn't that bothered, he knew it was going to happen.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 17:02:11

Well iv come across the wrong wah, i was just trying cover all bases on why i didnt think he would be cheating with her, and i didnt say weird was bad! She is weird! I like her because shes weird! But this was a bit too much!

What a silly thing to say, im not bloody angelina jolie! I personally think a person is better lookig the nicer they are! But i know my OH is quite shallow!

kalidanger Mon 23-Sep-13 16:56:16

You said she was weird, repeatedly.

It's also funny that you imagine that no one ever fancies 'unattractive' people.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:53:13

I dont judge her on her looks as u can see in the next sentence where i say we get on well and shes a lot of fun, i also said he doesnt find her attractive and there also not very close, im not basing it just on looks and yes he has said that to me when i asked what he thought of them after the first time we met up with them without everybody else, i said he had growing up to do as that was his reply!

kalidanger Mon 23-Sep-13 16:50:07

You discuss the relative attractiveness of your friends and, actually, don't like them much? hmm

TheGerontocracy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:49:13

he thinks shes not very nice to look at, which i agree with so i do believe him

Oh well, that's all right then!

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:45:04

Captain mummy - haha! Sorry, my daughter said this the other day when i asked her to do something for me! I thought 'yes finally a nickname!' Straight away smile hope you dont mind!

I dont play poker but i think they were just trying to change the atmosphere for when we got back, i bet they thought they were being clever. They should have mentioned the game and seen my reaction not just his, as he was obviously up for it ��

Jan45 Mon 23-Sep-13 16:40:45

`Cluster of Cunts` - lol.

captainmummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:40:42

Ummm -I hope people don't think the OP was me, name-changed! This is quite spooky - never seen anyone with a name like mine before .

A nyway - can you even play poker with only 2??

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:39:12

CoffeeTea- i am more upset with my DP, he doesnt dislike her, hes just not bothered, hes a bit of a 'lad' and prefers male company, hes never had girl 'mates'! we dont talk about her a lot at all! But we have and thats what he has said jus shes a bit weird and he thinks shes not very nice to look at, which i agree with so i do believe him, but she is nice and i talk to her a lot an shes a lot of fun.

Im upset with him for being irresponsible with our daughter and my feelings. Hes really let us down.

Madlizzy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:35:10

I would have gone nuclear. I'd still be at nuclear level now. Your DH needs to take as much responsibility as the other woman as he's the one who you should be able to trust. I wouldn't minimise what has happened here.

She is definitely...unusual. I can't work out what I think of your dp. He might just have thought, ah, cards, drink, omg tits.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:30:36

HairyGrotter - i wish now i had said a lot more!! I would have struggled to leave as DD was in bed, i couldnt have driven and didnt have the cash for a cab, not that that is why i didnt leave, i just came back and sort of said wtf! Why would you chose to do that while we were away! couldnt you have waited and asked us! She said sorry went to put her pjs on and the boys were jus at the table talking! I just stood there for a couple minutes baffled! I thought i was over-reacting!

Yes, you were totally set up.

CoffeeTea103 Mon 23-Sep-13 16:29:17

This whole situation is very suspicious op. If your DH dislikes her as much as he says what makes him go from dislike to topless in 20 minutes. And why wasn't he even bothered that you could walk in any minute. Also he was responsible for your kids when you weren't there, did he even care if they walked in to that situation. Doesn't that worry you more than anything? You should really be more upset with him than your friend. You can cut off this friendship with your friend but your DH will always find a woman if he had other intentions.

Yes, sounds like they are grooming you both for some car key action wink
Make it clear to everyone, once and for all that it is never going to happen.

HairyGrotter Mon 23-Sep-13 16:26:22

I'd be livid, absolutely livid. Words would have been spoken there and then, no minimisation would occur!

What a cluster of cunts, your DP included

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:26:01

TeGeron - he isnt very responsible no, he is very childish, i love him very much but i do struggle with the snail pace it is taking for him to grow up! I dont want to be his mum and my daughters mum, i dont know about what the other couple think hmm obviously it doesnt bother them so much!

Jan45 Mon 23-Sep-13 16:20:59

Yes I'd say it was really his place to say no to her but hey, perhaps she was insistent and like most guys he didn't know what to say or do! Even if that is the case, he'd still get a right ear bashing from me.

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