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Im really angry with my DP

(72 Posts)
AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 12:34:26

On saturday night me, my DP and our 2 year DD old went to our friends for dinner and drinks, we planned to stay overnight so we can drive home in the morning, they have 2 DDs and we always have a good night when we see them!

This saturday after the girls were in bed and we were sitting at the kitchen table, we ran out of booze! There was a beer festival down the road so the husband offered to go get some more, he asked his OH and my OH but they couldnt be bothered so i said id go! So off we went! We were about 20 mins. We came back to them both topless at the kitchen table, she was covered with a cushion and apparently they were playing strip poker, i kicked off a bit and said well why would u do that?! If you wanted to play why wait until your alone! I dont think they were up to anything but i think its totally inappropriate! I wouldn't play anyway by the way but thats not the point.

Her OH didnt make a fuss at all! So i just sort of carried on the night, i forgot about it until this morning and now im really angry! How disrespectful of my feelings and how could he think that was ok!

Im sure they were just having a laugh but if that happens when im bloody there what happens when he goes out without me!!

Sorry its long, just needed to rant!! Hes at work so im stewing and thinking off what to say, how would you feel in my shoes?

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 14:59:10

Exactly JohFlow, if it wasnt for his usual opinion of her i think i would be much more angry! X

honeybunny14 Mon 23-Sep-13 15:02:12

Omg i would be livid

CoffeeAndScones Mon 23-Sep-13 15:27:01

OP don't like to suggest it, but have you considered that your DH might be playing down his feelings for this woman? That is, if he keeps saying she's weird and unattractive, you won't be suspicious when something (like this) happens?

mcmooncup Mon 23-Sep-13 15:46:20

That is the white elephant in the room elephantsandscones
It is not uncommon for cheating men to hate cheating or for them to find the ow terribly unattractive

CoffeeAndScones Mon 23-Sep-13 15:54:02

Elephantandscones - I feel a name change coming on grin

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 15:54:15

I have thought of it, but no i really dont think he likes her too much! She can be a bit odd which is why we have talked about if we like seeing them, not just that shes unattractive, there also not very close, its more us girls chatting and the boys chatting or all together.

I think he was just being a prick trying to make me feel small, or he wanted us all to get naughty maybe! Maybe they were expecting us to come back and say waheeeey! Strip poker! Not see me going shock and pointing through the glass doors at them!

It's part of the script.
I have a friend who used to get her implant enhanced boobs out at every opportunity. I love her dearly but avoid all occasions with her where alcohol is involved as she invariably ends up pissing everyone off.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 15:59:04

Katie - we went to the races (without the kids) and she got too drunk and was rude and asked if we could go back and have sex, but i just thought she'd had too much to drink that night and avoided her, think it must be her personality and im better off keeping her and my OH away!!

I keep going to text her because shes made me feel bad for saying something confused but i think i should stand up for myself, i think she was trying it on with my OH, i will ask him if she was later! I think he is just an immature, insensitive twat who didnt even realise id be hurt by it!

BigBrassBand Mon 23-Sep-13 15:59:12
BigBrassBand Mon 23-Sep-13 16:03:21

I think your DP was naïve and you were clearly being tested for some partner swapping, I'd avoid them from now on!

bestsonever Mon 23-Sep-13 16:04:35

Seems like this was somewhat engineered by them to be 'not bothered' to go out for booze. I'd guess they perhaps they are into swinging as a couple and thought that this would be a way to introduce it. Be wary about your DP mentioning too often that he doesn't like your 'friend'. A passing mention is fine, but a regular reinforcement of his opinion is somewhat suspicious.
To find out if your DP was an innocent but stupid bystander or involved in the shenanigans, you could try asking him if he thinks that they might be swingers and see what his reaction is. If you can usually read him well it may give you clues.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:06:00

Lol BigBrassBand!

Yes i think they are shock i think my OH would be up for that too, but im not great at sharing smile thats probably why im the only shocked one! They were all trying to get lucky! Haha, freaked out and flattered! Haha.

Twinklestein Mon 23-Sep-13 16:07:31

I'm assuming the couple are swingers...

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:09:12

Thank you everyone, i am not so angry now, im still angry with my 'friend' for doing that or what she might have been trying to do with MY partner! And still angry with my OH for not just saying hey lets wait for AyeAye and see if she fancies playing! (Then i would have said nooooo!) i will have to let my OH know that i am not up for that so we are never in that situation again! We havnt ever seriously discussed it before

Teeb Mon 23-Sep-13 16:09:19

I get the feeling they might be swingers and it was planned that you and her partner would 'stumble' upon them in that state and hopefully would play along. It seems your friends plan backfired.

Jan45 Mon 23-Sep-13 16:14:57

I would be really mad about this, that's amazing to go from fully clothes to half naked in 20 mins. If you want to be angry then be angry at both of them, it's not all her fault, it's your OH too, total disrespect towards you from both of them, and yes, if he can do this in your company, all be it missing for 20 mins, I'd be wondering what the hell he does when you're not there too!

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:15:02

I havnt mentioned this yet to you but i did to my OH first thong sunday morning on the way home! But her OH kept trying to hold my hand and said 'lets go to the dance tent' at the beer festival while we got the drink, i said no we should get back! Maybe he was trying it on with me and her my OH! I prefer his way, it was very easy for me to brush it off, tits in face is probably harder to deal with!

TheGerontocracy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:17:44

Had they thought about what they would have done if one of the three children in the house had come downstairs while they were stripping off?

Your OP doesn't sound terrifically....responsible OP.

TheGerontocracy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:17:51

DP. Not OP.

CoffeeAndScones Mon 23-Sep-13 16:18:56

That's making this all more concrete then. Avoid. And work out if your DH is a bit dim, or into it as well.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:19:05

Jan45 - yes it was very disrespectful of him to be so blase (sp) about my feelings in seeing them like that, i am much more cross with him than her because his loyalties should be lying with me no matter what! Hers should but some friends are crap and i can get over her!

I cant wait to see what he has to say for himself!

Jan45 Mon 23-Sep-13 16:19:45

Mmm wouldn't be so sure he was actually trying it on with you - either way, I'd avoid these two from now on!

Jan45 Mon 23-Sep-13 16:20:59

Yes I'd say it was really his place to say no to her but hey, perhaps she was insistent and like most guys he didn't know what to say or do! Even if that is the case, he'd still get a right ear bashing from me.

AyeAyeCaptainMummy Mon 23-Sep-13 16:26:01

TeGeron - he isnt very responsible no, he is very childish, i love him very much but i do struggle with the snail pace it is taking for him to grow up! I dont want to be his mum and my daughters mum, i dont know about what the other couple think hmm obviously it doesnt bother them so much!

HairyGrotter Mon 23-Sep-13 16:26:22

I'd be livid, absolutely livid. Words would have been spoken there and then, no minimisation would occur!

What a cluster of cunts, your DP included

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