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Just can't get my head at around how much stbxh is at "fault" (mh issues and amnesia) just keep going round and round in circles.

(26 Posts)
catfourfeet Sun 22-Sep-13 19:29:37

Hi all;
Quick back story.

Stbxh been ill for 3 years.

Severe short term memory problems; mood swings, ,
xtreamly selfish.

He couldn't cope with family life.

Left us (4dc , 14; 12; 10, 8) a year ago.

My sis and his sis (my sil) incredibly interfering in his medical care v before he left. E.g. appointmenrs ,
second diagnosis, access to medical notes all staged for, then, dh without my knowledge. He couldn't tell me because of memory I problems.

Sil said a year ago " I will do my damnest (sp) to make sure he never comes home"

He's had a year of ppoison about me and our life being dripped in his ear I ( even with his memory problems stuff will go in eventuality )

I know he had been been lied to and suspect much , much more.

E.g. He totally believed his solicitor had told him he "was not allowed" to see his kids.

Only a Court can do this and only I in extern cases.
Now he can see his kids but of course ( due to mh ( has no recollection of previous "advice" from solicitor.

Isetan Mon 23-Sep-13 03:19:57

You had no say in your husbands brain injury and the subsequent behaviour of your SIL and sister but not moving on, is a choice. Not moving on doesn't and can't change the past and it isn't an admittance of failure or wrong doing, it's an acknowledgement that life doesn't stop.

Grieve for your husband and your marriage, give your children space and support to grieve for their father. Chaining your self to 'what ifs' and 'maybes' paralyses you, inhibits the healing process and wounds left untreated fester.

Please seek out counselling and give yourself permission to end this half life that blights your children's remaining functioning parent.

Choose living over existing.

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